MapQuesting is an amazing tool to use in getting directions to where you want to go. But, in order to get to that final destination you have to have an exact address of where you are going.
The same rules apply in attracting a new mate. You have to to be clear and precise about what kind of mate you want to attract in your life in order to get him.
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One of my clients recently told me that she didn’t understand why she kept attracting the same “jerks in her life.” She wants to be in a “great” relationship but she hasn’t put the time and energy into defining what a “great” relationship means to her.
We all continue to attract the same person with the same behaviors and personality types over and over again until we have truly learned our lessons, changed our own behaviors and patterns, and are clear about the type of person we want to attract into our life.
The first step in MapQuesting your future mate is to write a list of qualities that are important to you when you think of attracting a future partner. Do these qualities include integrity, dependability, compassion, honesty, communication, returning phone calls, showing up on time, and commitment? Or is it important that your mate makes a certain amount of money, drives a nice car, will shower you with flowers and diamonds, take you out for nice romantic dinners, has certain external looks and wears nice clothes? Or would you like to have a mixture of them all? Don’t judge yourself about what you want. It is important that you are honest with yourself in naming what is important to you.
Remember: A person is not who they say they are or who they want to be. A person IS who they ARE. If a person tells you that they are loyal, honest and that they love you – watch their actions. No matter how cliché it sounds, actions speak much louder than words.
When making your list for your future partner, be specific. Realize that you might not attract the person to the exact tee, but at least you are being clear with yourself who you would like to attract into you life. What is important to you?
1. Values. Are they the same or different than yours?
2. Physical Appearance. What should this person look like? Height, hair color, clothes, etc.
3. Material. What possessions are important for the other person to have? What about career and financial?
4. Interests, hobbies, athletics, creativity.
5. Spiritual beliefs.
6. Intellect and education.
7. Their life goals and future. Include the number of children, child rearing beliefs, where you want to live, and goals for retirement.
8. Emotional maturity and consciousness.
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9. Your deal breakers. What are absolutes that you will not accept in a person?
Disclaimer: You cannot have your cake and eat it too. You have to give up a little to get a lot. You have to lose a few battles to win the war. In the things that are important to you in a mate, realize that we are all imperfect. But DO NOT settle for less than you deserve.