Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

The Movie Star Within Us

Self

Qualities we see and relate to in others; we possess ourselves as well.

"The new Harry Potter is out, we have to see it. Daniel Radcliffe is so hot" Ava said. "Okay we will go, but to make it clear, I like the special effects and the story is really compelling, and don't forget Emma Watson is not bad to look at either" Lucas replied.

Life is like a movie and we are the celebrities, the main character in our own life's movie. Too bad we don't have a script to follow we have to improvise every moment of our movie. There are so many directors ( love-once, family, society, career, government) who direct our movie that it is hard the figure out which direction is the best for us. All those directors have another vision for our life's movie, and want you to play multiple roles all at once;  for example:  partner, parent, employee, friend, neighbor, child, family-member.

Each role has different expectations to fulfill, and has rules on what is accepted. We create molds for every role. You can see it as masks, for when we are a parent we have a different way of behaving than when we "play" the friend role. Each time we switch roles we also switch masks, which happens so often that we can't keep up with what is the real us. We get so mixed up that we forget who we were when we started this life's movie.

Luckily we have our co-stars  to lean on, they show us what we hide from ourselves. The qualities we admire in others we often possess them as well. After you answer the question who is your favorite athlete or actor, ask yourself these questions:

How did I pick this person: is it on the looks or on the qualities they portray to have?
What qualifies do I detect, and name them.
How does these qualities relate to me?
Where do they show up in my life?

Yes I know, this is not only reading for you but also a little homework. This is only a great benefit for you, because it gives you inside on what is the true you (personal I Am Status), naked before we get the script. Subconscious we already use our unique qualities, but when we become aware of them we can choose to use them. This will give a us a steady point in all the different roles we play.  It is like  unraveling our personal pin code,  this code gives us access to all kind of distinct information we can use in the various situations we encounter. The compass that always will guide us in the right direction.

Question: What is your greatest quality, please share with the world.

Click here to connect with Ellen.

This article was originally published at Ellen Nyland. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Author
Expert

Expert advice

If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
Several key behaviors stand out in order to help couples create a healthy relationship.
It seems like you can't do anything right.

Explore YourTango