9 Signs You're A Perfectionist (And How To Let It Go)

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9 Reasons You Don’t Want To Be A Super Human (all the time)
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Being in control is great, but you need a balance in letting go.

It may sound so great: "I am a superhero a.k.a. superhuman!"

But is it, really?

Have you really looked into what it means to be a superhuman? You see, superhumans have all their ducks in a row all the time. Everybody can lean on them because they can handle it and they don’t need help in return.

Also, they make the impossible, possible because they don’t take "no" for an answer and they are looking relentlessly for the answer they are seeking. Nothing seems to throw them off and they are always in control.  

But you can’t make any mistakes because of the fear of failure. You work yourself in a frizzle and who is supporting you when you need a shoulder to lean on? You have to find a middle ground.   

RELATED: 5 Everyday, CHANGEABLE Behaviors That Slowly Burn You Out

Being a part-time superhuman is a great compromise. It gives you confidence, a sense of worth, and independence. But, it becomes dangerous if your expectations are that you have to be a superhuman 24/7 and I will explain why: 

1. You put unrealistic expectations on yourself.

You feel that you can never fail, make mistakes, or let others down. If or when you do you will beat yourself up and feel that you are not good at or for anything. So, your view then becomes very black and white: It is or it is not...and you fill in the blanks.

2. You have a hard time trusting others.

As a superhuman, you rely only on yourself, which translates that you don’t trust others, not for help, input, opinion, or sincerity and you subconsciously look for the hidden agenda somebody may have.

3. You need everything in your control.

With control, you want everything to be perfect, you put too much pressure on your self. If it ends up not being perfect it fails, and you don’t do failure well.  

Things that are not in your control will drive you crazy and unexpected events will throw you off kilter, which interferes with your well-being.

4. Chances are that life overwhelms you.

Being a superhuman 24/7 is hard work and it seems you can’t take a break because you are on call all the time.

Not only are you in charge of your life, but others start to lean on you regardless of whether you can take them on or not. In their mind, you are the go-to person when something goes wrong in their lives and you will fix it.

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5. Unrealistic expectations of others.

Your expectation can be that you find that others have to be a superhuman as well and if not, they are "weak". Or, others view you as this superior, out-of-this-world person that takes on the responsibility of the world. Both expectations are very tiring for all parties.

6. You will be lonely. 

When you need a shoulder to lean on, you will find that you dismiss a lot of people as your confidant because you feel that they can’t understand you, therefore can’t support you.

By isolating yourself, you cut off all the support that could be out there for you, and you will experience feelings of loneliness.

7. You are viewed as a know-it-all. 

People will either come to you for advice, or they shun you out of their social circle because you make them feel inferior (often this goes unintentionally)

8. Your stress levels are high.

Being "on" all the time will take a toll on your health, it is then not uncommon that you will develop health issues that can shorten your lifespan and your quality of life.

9. You will break yourself with no self-care. 

Often super humans put others before themselves and don’t have a great practice of self-care. Even when the cost is high, just so they don’t disappoint others and be seen as a failure.     

As good as taking charge of your life is and become a well-rounded human being, the fact is you need others in your life. You need others to learn from, collaborate with and lean on when you have a difficult moment. 

And we all encounter difficult moment once in a while nobody can escape those.

Watch YourTango Experts discuss perfectionism and the cost we pay when in pursuit of the perfect life.

Here are some tips for how to let go of perfectionist tendencies and take a break from being a superhuman:

  1. Make a priority list: What is important for you? Write that down. Cultivate the list and let go of the things that didn’t make the list, because guess what? They are not important to you.
  2. Take time for relaxation: Meditation, sports, yoga, movies, fishing, and hunting all count as long it relaxes you.
  3. Ask for help: It is a way of showing trust in the ability of the other to be of service to you, and it gives you the feeling you don’t have to do it all alone.

Build on your strength and ask support for your "weakness" then you will become an excellent human being who is capable of taking care of yourself and support others who could use a hand. 

Ellen Nyland is a Transitions coach who helps you build your strengths and cultivate your weaknesses and author of the book "Life is Great Even When it Sucks". Interested to know more? Contact Ellen Nyland.

This article was originally published at Ellen Nyland. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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