6 Things You Can Do Right Now To Get Over Your Breakup


Breakup: 6 Things You Can Do Right Now To Get Over Your Breakup
Time to get over it? Here's how to move on.

It is so hard to let go of a relationship. Especially those relationships where you fantasized about the future, had a wonderful time together, and things seemed to be perfect…before it was all over. Moving on from a breakup can be one of the most challenging and painful things ever, but I beg you to start the process. The time that you waste in a place of heartbreak will end up being lost time. Lost time where you could be happy,and lost time where you might do things that you regret. (Have you ever texted your ex repeatedly at 3am? I might have…)

Most importantly, no matter how heartbroken you are right now, staying in a place of pain will not bring them back. Neither will wacky antics: calling at 2am, stopping by their house, "accidentally" running into them or any other harebrained schemes you can cook up. I don't say this lightly: I might or might not have tried all of this myself.


In the spirit of getting yourself a fresh start, here is how to get over your breakup:

1. Cut Off All Contact With Your Ex
Going no contact with your ex is essential if you want to heal. You can't move on if you are constantly having the wound reopened. Don't try to run into them, go where they hang out or do anything else to cultivate interaction with them. Leave them alone. If you want to be friends later, you can examine that at a later date. Right now, you need a lot of space.

If they call or text, let them know gently that you don't want to talk to them, and then ignore the rest of their contact. After all, you put a boundary in place that they should respect. Delete them from all of your social media as well. Right now isn't the time to be ultra concerned about their feelings about you doing this. So many people stay connected —only on Twitter— and then end up logging in to look at their exes' tweets in a moment of weakness.

Note: I understand that you might have shared responsibilities like a household or kids. You must do the best you can to be polite, but non-engaging at these times. Take care of your shared business and go do something else.

2. Give Yourself Closure
Closure in a failed relationship is like a mythical unicorn that may or may not ever appear. If you got broken up with, it's important to realize that for whatever reason, your ex did not want to be in a relationship with you any more. You might never know the real reasons. The reasons might be totally ridiculous. The reasons don't matter. What matters is that you come to terms with the fact that you are still lovable AND that it's over with this particular person. It doesn't matter why you weren't their cup of tea. You just weren't.

3. Get Rid Of Everything That Reminds You Of Them
Get together all of the more emotional mementos like photographs and gifts, and box these up. Get it all up and out of your life for right now. If you aren't feeling ready to throw it out, give it to a friend to keep for you in a safe place for right now. You must get rid of whatever you can that triggers your memory of them.

4. Make Time For Hobbies And Distractions

Now is the time to return to or take up any hobby you have long neglected or wanted to try. Distract, distract, distract yourself! If you're looking for things to do, I've compiled a list of 107. No excuses! Another thing that others have found helpful is to find somewhere to volunteer for a few hours a week. Working with people or animals in need can really put your pain in perspective. So can reading my favorite breakup books. Whatever you choose, make sure you choose something!

5. Temporarily Spill All
For a little while (2 weeks max) give yourself free reign to talk about your ex and rehash the gory details of your breakup all you want. Then after the time is up, put a total moratorium on all talk about your relationship. This is important because talking about your ex can start to be like an addiction.

The whole point is to remove them from your life. This is impossible when you are constantly rambling on and on about it. Trust me, your friends and family will be thrilled you're done talking about the breakup as well. Once the time is up, ask them politely not to bring up your ex anymore.

6. Start Meeting New People
This can be a difficult thing to do when you're really heartbroken, but you must get out there and start gently meeting new people. I say "gently" because often in an attempt to get over their ex, people go on a dating binge and end up having an ill-fitted rebound relationship. The rebound is bad because rather than processing your feelings about your breakup, you are able to avoid the feelings hitting you like a ton of bricks by placing them on someone new. This is a mistake.

However, it's also a mistake to totally give up on dating, and start building your cat collection. The happy medium is to meet some new people in a low pressure environment,perhaps while you are doing one of your new hobbies or volunteering.

What have you been doing to get over a breakup? Tell me in the comments.

If your guy is pulling away, let me help you here.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.

More breakup advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elizabeth Stone


Ever feel like your heart just got ripped out and your guy danced the samba on it?  Do you want one more chance, to make things amazing again? Let me help you rewind your relationship back to the way it was at the beginning, before he pulled away and became cold and distant.

I know what it feels like to wake up with sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, hoping, wishing that you could turn back the clock and make things better again.

Find out what to do when a guy withdraws from you and turn your relationship around now.

Location: Las Vegas, NV
Credentials: BA
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Elizabeth Stone:

11 UNDENIABLE Signs You're Dating A Narcissist


Among the types of people who can really muck up your life, there is the toxic narcissist. Narcissism exists on a spectrum. These self-centered folks can simply be more focused on themselves, or it can cross over into an actual personality disorder. Either way, narcissists are legendarily difficult to have relationships with. So, if you are truly coping ... Read more

8 Darn Good Reasons Why It's Time To Say Bye Your Lover


Has your relationship passed it’s sell by date? Sometimes it just feels vaguely like things aren’t going great but you aren’t quite sure whether it’s time to try to repair your relationship or kiss it goodbye. The limbo phase sucks, so let’s talk about some solid reasons to end things. Some of this seems obvious, but when ... Read more

7 Reasons to Be Thrilled…It’s Over


Going through a breakup? I’m well aware how painful that can be. As painful as that is, there is a silver lining that I want to talk about today— the positive things about a split. Here are 7 reasons to be happy a relationship ended: 1. More free time. Want to spend all weekend in your pajamas watching Netflix? Doable. Want to go ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular