Since I started Bartender…Man Straight Up!, I’ve gotten so many wonderful tips for grabbing a guy’s attention and starting up a conversation. But I think some of the most valuable advice pertains to what not to do, so make sure you don’t blow your chances with the cute guy across the bar with one of these no-nos.
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1. Don’t be lame. Kick off a conversation with something memorable, not laughable. A pathetic line like “Come here often?” is not acceptable. Whether at an airport bar or any bar for that matter, use your surroundings as a basis for conversation.
2. Don’t bare all. If a man wants to see a naked woman, he can watch porn or go buy Playboy, so don’t dress too revealing. Leave a bit of mystery. Don’t wear an outfit that shows off all the assets because then that leaves nothing to the imagination. Men like to think about what’s hidden behind that shirt and when they’ll get the chance to see it. If you put it all out there on night one, then they have nothing to look forward to. Look sexy, but keep some of it covered up.
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3. Don’t get sloshed. No one likes a completely drunk man or woman coming on to them. Think about how annoyed you get when a drunk guy tries to pick you up, and now imagine the tables are turned. Not a pretty sight. Watch the booze intake and pace yourself. A sober woman is 100 times more attractive than a drunk one, so have enough alcohol to take the edge off but still keep yourself under control. Having him put you in a cab wanting to see you again is the goal, not putting you in a cab and saying, “Lush.”
4. Don’t spill all. No guy wants to hear your life story the first night you meet. Leave the broken-heart stories for later on and keep the first conversation light and fun.
5. Don’t waste your time on the wrong night. Thursday to Saturday are group or date nights. Most people go out with a large group of friends or “real” dates and it tends to be hard to meet anyone on those nights. Pick a night earlier in the week (i.e. Sunday to Wednesday). Those nights are more casual. People go out in smaller groups, have work dinners and are easier to engage with.
Have you learned any man-repelling lessons the hard way? Tell me your stories!