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What Not To Do When Planning Your Wedding

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What Not To Do When Planning Your Wedding
10 ways to guarantee unnecessary stress headaches during your engagement.

This list is guarenteed to give you years of therapy, heartache, and bad memories about the single most expensive day of your life (save for a really bad day in the ER.)  Let's get started on the destruction!

#10 - Make all major wedding planning decisions without consulting anyone - not your spouse-to-be, not your parents, or anyone else involved, until AFTER you've signed the papers and made the deposits

More from YourTango: 5 Mistakes Engaged Couples Make with Divorced Parents

#9 - When you ask your spouse-to-be to do a particular wedding related task, be sure not to clarify what the task is supposed to accomplish, don't give a timeline, don't give an explaination of why the task and timeline is important...make sure he is left in the dark to ensure maximum fight potential

#8 - Assume everyone knows what is on your mind, rather than communicating why you are doing what you're doing. It's best to keep people in the dark to ensure maximum wedding stress

#7 - Pick your wedding party really quickly, without any thought to their personality, to their life phase right now, or to their financial and job situation. It's also a great idea to not ask what your in-laws expect out of family being in the wedding party to maximum full family drama and stress

#6 - If a loved one disagrees with you, complain loudly that this is YOUR day and then complain loudly and frequently to everyone who will listen. It's best to give maximum mental and emotional energy to every tiny disagreement, even if it really doesn't matter to you if the other person wants something more than you

#5 - Be sure to hold back all your stress until you finally go on a date night with your spouse-to-be. Wait til the dinner is served and then rip into your family, your future-inlaws, and make the entire date turn into a huge wedding stress vent

#4 - Make sure you don't talk with your spouse-to-be before meeting with vendors to clarify what your values, wants and needs are so you get pulled into their sales pitch and agree to the most expensive package they offer. Who needs a wedding budget??

#3 - Use "I" statements with difficult people. They'll love being called a brat, impossible, insensitive, or rude, as long as you say "I feel you are a brat"

#2 - Be sure, brides, to encourage your fiance to share his wedding opinions but then be sure to shut him down or complain about how incompetent he is, or how much he's procrastinating, or how he just "doesn't understand weddings"

More from YourTango: Outrageous or Brilliant? Wedding Planning Strategies

#1 - Make sure this wedding is ALL ABOUT YOU, even if it means creating family cut-offs, screaming at your in-laws, ruining your relationship with your spouse-to-be, or threatening your parents or in-laws that they will never get to see their future grandchildren

 

Want to be relationship savvy?  Read our book, Take Back Your Wedding today.  We guarentee you'll learn something new and avoid a lot of drama in your marriage and families.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elizabeth Doherty Thomas

Author

Elizabeth Doherty Thomas offers a fresh approach to wedding planning by addressing the murky couple, family and friend drama that invariable unfolds. Her book, Take Back Your Wedding: Managing the People Stress of Wedding Planning has been widely praised by engaged couples, parents, clergy, therapists and wedding professionals for addressing the reality of wedding planning while being funny, practical, and immediately helpful.

As a new voice in the relationship arena Elizabeth has a passion for combining professional research and expertise with very grounded, practical solutions.

Visit The First Dance for a lot more wedding relationship help and many marriage preparation "do it yourself" options.

Location: St Paul, MN
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Elizabeth Doherty Thomas:

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