Should You Settle for What You Can Get?

By

Should You Settle for What You Can Get?
Sex and the Psychological City; What the girls taught us about when and whether to settle!

What's wonderful and psychologically compelling about this episode is the exploration of the relationship between a woman's ability to satisfy herself and the challenge of finding a satisfying relationship. Regardless of who loves whom more, the chances of finding a fulfilling romantic relationship are ultimately better if you know how to take care of yourself, meet your own needs, and be satisfied -- physically, emotionally and even sexually -- on your own. Charlotte's open mind and willingness to learn more about meeting her own sexual needs, and Samantha's open mind and willingness to give "the Turtle" a fair chance, are both worthwhile steps on the path to finding love. In other words, Charlotte is in a better position to find Mr. Right as she has learned more about meeting her own sexual needs. Samantha has fun with Turtle for a while, and demonstrates BOTH that it is worth giving someone a chance AND necessary to face facts if romantic feelings do not develop.

Having worked with many clients in search of love and life partners, I am stuck by the simple truth that once you are satisfied with yourself, you are better able to find and sustain a satisfying, loving romantic relationship. If you do not know how to meet your own physical needs, how can you expect someone else to meet them for you? Similarly, if you do not know how to be happy, is it realistic to expect that a relationship will bring you happiness? People who value themselves and take care of themselves are usually more open to giving nice, available, suitable partners a chance. Keeping an open mind can lead to finding love where you might least expect it. So, forget about keeping track of who loves whom more, but DO KEEP AN OPEN MIND! Keep your life interesting and full, take good care of yourself, and prioritize dating kind, interested people who have time for you.

 

Above all, if you want to get married someday, don't date someone who says that they do not! True, they may change their mind eventually, but they should come find you when and if they do. In the meantime, dating someone who does not want to marry if you do want to marry is the ultimate example of barking up the wrong tree. Consider Carrie's closing reflections about her Zen Master and his teachings:

My Zen Teacher said the only way to find true happiness is to live in the moment and not worry about the future...Of course, he died penniless and single.

Check back soon to discuss episode ten when the girlfriends attend The Baby Shower!

Connect with me at www.elisabethlamotte.com and follow @elisjoy

 


 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elisabeth LaMotte

Counselor/Therapist

Social worker, psychotherapist, blogger and author of "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce"

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MFT, MSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Elisabeth LaMotte:

Film as Therapy

By

Johnny Carson once said: “In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.”  His observation says less about the stars than it does about the rest of us, who are typically reluctant to enter psychotherapy.  By the time a client walks into my office, she knows something needs to change, has exhausted her own ... Read more

4 Clever Ways To Keep Romance Alive — Despite The Kids

By

When two people love each other, nothing is better than raising a family together. That said, couples often put their parenthood duties and career responsibilities at the top of their priority list, and allow their marriage to fall to the bottom. Most parents are on an endless treadmill of chores, meals and responsibilities, and forget to invest ... Read more

4 Struggles All Sex Addicts Face

By

Romantic relationships are complicated, intense, beautiful entities that can be challenging to nurture and sustain. Today's persistent emphasis on high-speed solutions, high-tech communications and ubiquitous social networking can compromise the development of a simple, organic union between two like-minded people hoping to find love. For those who struggle ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular