Should You Settle for What You Can Get?


Should You Settle for What You Can Get?
Sex and the Psychological City; What the girls taught us about when and whether to settle!

Miranda then introduces Carrie and Charlotte to the Rabbit during a group outing to a local sex shop. Though skeptical, Charlotte is charmed by the rabbit's Pink color and bunny ears and proceeds to fall hard and fast. She simply cannot tear herself away from her new Rabbit! In an outrageous example of how much times have changed, Charlotte bails on her girlfriends and cancels plans for the ballet using the excuse that she is expecting a transatlantic phone call! She expresses fear that she will never enjoy sex with a man again! She bails on an art opening to stay home and nest with her Rabbit! The girlfriends have no choice but to barge into Charlotte's apartment, uninvited, and perform a hysterical Rabbit intervention. Charlotte adamantly defends herself and her Rabbit:

I'd rather stay home with the Rabbit than go out and deal with men!


Meanwhile, inspired by Brooke's wedding, (and offended by a chic wedding guest's rejection in favor another woman) Samantha decides to give the geeky wedding guest Bernie Turtletaub a chance. Carrie explains that Turtletaub is known AS "the Turtle" and known FOR two things:

Good investments and bad breath!

Samantha defends the Turtle, calling him a "cute little fixer upper" and spends the episode convincing the Turtle to use breath mints, get facials and purchase a brand new wardrobe featuring Helmut Lang. The Turtle is happily willing to reinvent himself in hopes of becoming worthy of Samantha's love.

Ultimately, Charlotte determines that, fabulous as her Rabbit may be, she needs to go out and face the world. Samantha faces the unfortunate truth that the Turtle, with his constant obsession over guessing the EXACT ingredients of every single restaurant meal he eats, is not and never will be her soulmate. As the Turtle annoyingly pontificates about whether he is eating shitake, porcini, chanterelle or trumpet mushrooms, Samantha decides that the imbalance of their enthusiasm for one another is simply too great. She ditches him at a high-end bistro. Both Charlotte and Samantha gain some solid life experience through their willingness to keep an open mind, but they refuse to settle. Their search for true love continues.

In another refusal to settle, Carrie ultimately confesses to Big:

I don't want to date somebody who won't (get married). What's the point?

Big breezily brushes Carrie's concerns aside by initiating a hookup. And so, the questions remain:

Is it better to settle for someone who loves you more than you love them?

Is it time to settle for what you can get?

My Advice?

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elisabeth LaMotte


Social worker, psychotherapist, blogger and author of "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce"

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MFT, MSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
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