Out of the Woodwork

By

Out of the Woodwork
Thinking about divorce? So are your friends -- Surprise!

My advice? If you are struggling with the question of whether to separate, try to keep your concerns about what others might think to a minimum. Obviously, none of us can operate in total isolation from others, but what matters most is you, your spouse, your children, and what, if anything can possibly be done to save your marriage. If it is not salvageable, people you would never expect are going to come out of the woodwork, applaud your choice, and want to hear all about it. (Some of these people will get on your nerves, others will be comforting.) Some friends and family members will come through for you in ways above and beyond your expectations. Others in your community will not be able to handle the fact that you are divorcing, and they will pull away. This is likely more about them than it is about you. Perhaps your experience brings up memories for them of their own parents' divorce. Or maybe it brings up feelings about the vulnerability of their own marriage. Or maybe they just need some time to adjust. Even if it hurts, it is quite possible that they will come around. If not, it is ultimately worth knowing who your true friends really are.

Elisabeth Joy LaMotte's book, Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce: 5 Steps to a Happy Relationship, was a finalist in the 2008 National Best Book Awards in the Relationship category.

Follow @elisjoy

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elisabeth LaMotte

Counselor/Therapist

Social worker, psychotherapist, blogger and author of "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce"

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MFT, MSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Elisabeth LaMotte:

A Therapist's Review Of 'Romantics Anonymous'

By

Most of us experience some form of social anxiety. We may feel nervous before a social gathering or slightly agitated during group activities. In the extreme, social anxiety compromises the ability to connect to another person in an intimate relationship. Jean-Pierre Ameris' 2010 French film, Les Emotifs Anonymous, is a comedic but meaningful study of what ... Read more

Robin Williams And Cinema Therapy

By

Cinema therapy is an aspect of psychotherapy that is gaining attention these days. This approach involves the therapist's suggestion of various films that relate to the issues the client wants to address. Film's power to help and to heal, and therefore complement that therapeutic process, may be one of the most interesting aspects of practicing ... Read more

How Our View Of Relationships And Breakups Changes As We Age

By

Intimate relationships are a primary focus in psychotherapy. Through therapy, people examine their closest relationships in order to determine what aspects of their approach to others work well for them, and what aspects of their approach they might want to change in order to form healthier attachments. In order to figure this out, it helps to look at current ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular