Help! My Spouse Cheated!

By

Help!  My Spouse Cheated!
When a spouse cheats, should you stay or should you go?

Ask your spouse if he or she is willing to end the other relationship for good and cut off all contact. I'm not just talking about physical contact. For the marriage to recover, there must be no contact, electronic or otherwise. This other person must be completely out of the picture; it will therefore be necessary to un-friend this person on Facebook, un-follow this person on Twitter and delete this person from all phones. If your spouse works with this person, collaborate with the couples therapist to set up the parameters to manage this difficult ongoing challenge. Perhaps your spouse can change divisions or departments or at least cut out the after-work office happy-hours.

Is your spouse willing to cut off contact? Is your spouse willing to let you know when this person attempts to make contact (which they will) and to discuss with you whether and how to respond? If your spouse is willing to completely cut this person off, that is an excellent sign. If you are hearing all kinds of excuses, this is cause for serious concern.

Unfortunately, your spouse's infidelity is something you never forget. However, this does not mean that your relationship is doomed. The steps listed above are by no means easy, but if your spouse is willing to do whatever it takes, then staying together is a choice worth considering, especially if children are involved. Remember that infidelity is much more common and much more complicated than people realize, and you are not alone in this difficult journey.

Connect with me at www.elisabethlamotte.com and follow @elisjoy
 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elisabeth LaMotte

Counselor/Therapist

Social worker, psychotherapist, blogger and author of "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce"

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MFT, MSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Elisabeth LaMotte:

Is Your Teen Or Tween Struggling Because They Feel Different?

By

If you have tween or teen daughters, it is highly likely that you have already heard an earful about John Green's bestselling novel and subsequently recently released film, The Fault in our Stars.  Even if you do not have teens or tweens, you would have to be living under a rock to have missed the hype about Hazel Grace, Augustus Waters, and their ... Read more

5 Things Movies Can Teach You About Breakups

By

A painful breakup is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy. Breakups are almost never easy and almost never mutual. Most people going through a breakup say they wish they could reverse their situation back into a relationship. However, as much as losing a relationship can hurt, breakups also carry the opportunity for important emotional ... Read more

Are You Ready to Unplug Your Love Life?

By

As a therapist working with adults in their twenties, thirties and forties, many of whom are single, I frequently discuss the way that technology affects dating and relationships with my clients.  I often wonder what the future will look like, and how much farther the internet revolution will infiltrate and impact the human experience of ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB