Downton Abbey: Should Women Say What They Think?

By

Downton Abbey: Should Women Say What They Think?
This week's episode focuses on the timeless question of whether women should speak their minds

This week's episode of Downton Abbey focuses on a timeless question: Should women say what they think? 

The year is 1920, and the aspiring assistant chef Daisy wants to move up in the kitchen, and in her life.  She is in awe of Miss Reid, the American maid who spent last week's season opener flirting shamelessly with Alfred and joyfully exclaiming her romantic desire.  While preparing the extravagant edibles for Lady Edith's upcoming wedding, Daisy consults with Alfred:

"I couldn't get over how outspoken she was. But you liked that didn't you?  Maybe I should be more outspoken and say what I really think."

As Daisy seeks to sort out her view on this revolutionary idea of women speaking their mind, we watch poor Lady Edith dote on her fiancee, Sir Anthony Strallan, with excessive adoration exclaiming:

"I don't love you IN SPITE of your need to be looked after, I love you BECAUSE of it; I want you to be my life's work!"

Her bottomless expression of affection gets her nowhere, and poor Edith is jilted at the alter. 

Meanwhile, Lady Mary boldly tells her adoring Matthew:

"If you try to find one more excuse not to accept the money, I shall have to beat you about the head!"

Mary speaks her mind -- with humor and love -- and gets exactly what she wants.

The most heartwarming romance of the episode takes place between Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes who absolutely refuse to say anything about what they think or how they feel.  Rejecting any form of direct communication, these lovebirds independently confide in the well intended cook, Mrs. Patmore, who seems stressed to be trapped with the knowledge of their unspoken, unacknowledged affections.  We watch the adorable Mr. Carson singing joyfully of his beloved in a corner, while Mrs. Hughes watches longingly (in secret) and we can only hope that someone will speak up soon!

As the episode closes, Daisy cannot seem to find a clear answer to her question and turns her colleague, Anna, for advice:

"Do you think its right that women should say what they think and speak out about romance and everything?"

Anna, shockingly, gives a reply that could have been lifted from the lines of a modern day advice column, or from the 1995 bestselling self-help classic, The Rules!

"Well, things are changing for us and the vote won't be long now, so I suppose they must get used to us speaking our minds.  But with most of the men I've ever met, if you started to court them they'd be so terrified they'd run a mile!"

Ironically, the one time Daisy speaks up, she barges into a conversation, uninvited, and tells Lady Mary of a letter she mailed for Lavinia just before her death.  Daisy's honesty singlehandedly saves Downton Abbey and her job, though Daisy learns nothing of the tremendous ramifications of her outspoken words.

Obviously, women can and must say what they think and how they feel.  The trick is to say things kindly, use humor when appropriate, and respect yourself in the process!

 

Learn more at www.elisabethlamotte.com and follow @elisjoy

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Elisabeth LaMotte

Counselor/Therapist

Social worker, psychotherapist, blogger and author of "Overcoming Your Parents' Divorce"

Location: Washington, DC
Credentials: LICSW, MFT, MSW
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce/Divorce Prevention
Other Articles/News by Elisabeth LaMotte:

A Therapist's Review Of 'Romantics Anonymous'

By

Most of us experience some form of social anxiety. We may feel nervous before a social gathering or slightly agitated during group activities. In the extreme, social anxiety compromises the ability to connect to another person in an intimate relationship. Jean-Pierre Ameris' 2010 French film, Les Emotifs Anonymous, is a comedic but meaningful study of what ... Read more

Robin Williams And Cinema Therapy

By

Cinema therapy is an aspect of psychotherapy that is gaining attention these days. This approach involves the therapist's suggestion of various films that relate to the issues the client wants to address. Film's power to help and to heal, and therefore complement that therapeutic process, may be one of the most interesting aspects of practicing ... Read more

How Our View Of Relationships And Breakups Changes As We Age

By

Intimate relationships are a primary focus in psychotherapy. Through therapy, people examine their closest relationships in order to determine what aspects of their approach to others work well for them, and what aspects of their approach they might want to change in order to form healthier attachments. In order to figure this out, it helps to look at current ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular