Your disease isn't going anywhere but your partner may, if you *both* don't learn to adapt.
One of the biggest problems with diabetes is being in a relationship. When ones blood sugar is high, there is a tendency to fall into a depressed mood. This causes a lot of issues among the relationship.
Your partner may not recognize that you are in a high blood sugar state. They may think that something negative you say pertains to them, when it's really due to the high blood sugar. This tends to bring up a lot of "I'm so sorry! It was the diabetes!"
Another problem that comes up is when diabetes becomes a source of arguments. "Oh! You're not taking care of your blood sugars! You're not taking care of that! Oh! You're blood sugars were off the other day!"
Because of the negative impacts of fluctuating blood sugars, your significant other may get frustrated. They may start focusing on you instead of recognizing that the ups and downs are just come with the diabetic territory.
"You can never be in perfect control."
Sometimes you'll be high and others you'll be low. But, one of the important things that you may want to work on, is building communication to resolve these issues.
Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship for anyone. However, when there is an illness like diabetes in the mix, constant communication is necessary and healthy thing.
So instead of taking an accusatory tone, you might want to try weaving together an "I feel" statement. When the person you're talking to has done something that bothers you, try saying "I feel bothered when you leave the cap off the tooth paste."
It sounds silly. Shouldn't that person know that? But unless you are expressing your feelings, how is your significant other ever going to know when something is bothering you?
When it comes to diabetes, this something that you have to watch out for — keeping your emotions on the table. Keep in mind that, being a diabetic causes problems not just for you, but the people around you, as well. For the significant others who are reading this, you need to keep some flexibility in mind and allow your partner to have their imperfections. Because as human beings, we are just not perfect — nor will we ever be.
With diabetes, there is no such thing as "perfect control." But, you can have good control. You can even have OK control, but there will always be some bad times when blood sugars are high. There will always be some times when you need to take a break. So, if you're a significant other, flexibility is key.
If your partner says, "Hey, I'm feeling week!" Respond with, "Hey, maybe we should check your blood sugar?"
That will help your spouse if your blood sugars are off. Then the both of you know what's going on. If you both realize that it's a place of vulnerability, you can each watch out and protect each other. You become a team to help the person living with diabetes and to make the relationship work — stronger and better than before.
This article was originally published at Diabetic Talks Eliot LeBow. Reprinted with permission from the author.