Research has revealed that narcissists are the product of their upbringing - it inevitably leads to them having a narcissistic relationship with everyone who crosses their path. They often pretend to have had happy childhoods, but the majority have suffered abandonment on some level, forcing the young child to construct a fake persona who lives in a “perfect world” where he is loved and nurtured like all the other children in the neighbourhood. Pretending that all is well on the home front becomes a task to which they dedicate their entire lives, but because they lack the foundation and reference that authentic, warm human interaction provides, they begin to operate similarly to card board cutouts and learn to fake everything they missed as a child which is the start of a narcissistic relationship. This manner of image polishing becomes a way of life, but puts them on shaky ground where no form of criticism or questioning can be endured, lest everything comes undone by the seems - narcissistic relationships are strangely fragile. Males are often obsessed with their absent, distant and cold mothers whom, dead or alive, they strangely begin to idolize in a bizarre effort to rewrite the tortured history of their past.
Now that you know who you are dealing with – what to do? If the bond is not of crucial value to you, then make tracks as fast as you can and walk away from this narcissistic relationship. If this is a spouse or family member, you must learn to call them on their game, and stand up to them. If they rage, rage back at them – there is no other way, because the main weapon of a narcissist is fear and intimidation. You will have to demonstrate that you are not afraid of them, or the emotional lynching will continue. If this is a business relationship, then reduce contact to the absolute minimum – but never sacrifice your own standards because you expect his rage when you rightfully demand accountability. Let their rage be their problem. Don’t stand for it and tell them so.
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