You disagree when it comes to money and how to spend it. Now what?
Money is a big part of our lives. It also plays a huge role in our relationships. It can be a source of conflict, whether you're in a relationship or not. Or it can be a blessing — one aspect of a great and easy flowing relationship.
Money means a lot of different things to each of us. Generally, it is a means of providing for our survival needs, like a roof over our head and food in the refridgerator. It also provides a way to get pleasure out of life, such as a comfortable warm house, car or hobbies.
Money energetically symbolizes freedom, possibilities, safety, security and survival. Money may mean time and having the time to do what you want.
Money, whether it is the lack of or scrambling to get more, triggers our fears and offers us the opportunity to grow and raise our consciousness. The amount of financial assets and money in our bank account directly reflects how we feel about ourselves.
Money plays a fundamental role in why we get into relationships, too. Perhaps one person chooses a partner who can support, provide for and take care of them. Maybe it's a practical matter; two incomes provide for a more comfortable lifestlye than one. Maybe it is the perception that a person with money provides more security than a person who is not so amply endowed.
There are a lot of reasons why people choose each other and money plays a major role, even if it is in the shadows.
Our lives are built around money. We spend a lot of time in pursuit of it, working for it or figuring out how we can get our hands on it. We spend a lot of time figuring out how to keep the money we have, too.
Just about every activity we do involves money- directly or indirectly. Money lives in our consciousness.
Ideally, couples communicate about their emotional and financial needs. They are open about their fears and insecurities, their current financial position and what they want for their future.
But what happens when they don't talk?
It becomes the zone they avoid. They keep earning and spending money, but the topic of money, like the topic of mortality, becomes very awkward and makes them feel uncomfortable. They may not agree on how it comes in or how it is spent. They may not agree on the work or the time it takes to make money. They may want to play all of the time. They blame each other if there is not enough. Often the primary bread winner feels guilty if there is not enough money for the family.
The topics that couples avoid talking about or dealing with become like a pit or a black hole. It sucks away their energy. The more they try to avoid it, the more they find their time is occupied with it. Fears, resentments, judgments, frustrations, blame and guilt come to the surface. Feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness and dissatisfaction become more prevalent. Arguments brew.
Money issues affect their sex life, fun and satisfaction with life and how they feel about their partner. Sometimes couples get counseling and others may even separate. A lot of times, they just grin and bear it in an unhappy relationship, hoping a miracle will happen and things get better.
So how can we turn money into a blessing; a boon to our relationships?
First, recognize that money is nothing but a mirror to how we feel about ourselves, our value and self worth. This concept is really important. Money is only a tool. It is not the center of the universe. Life does not revolve around money. Instead, we use it to make things happen in our lives. When we understand ourselves, we value ourselves and act accordingly and in alignment with our Divine Nature. Money reflects this by filling up our bank account, acquiring the assets we want or generally having abundance.
Next, we have to draw on our courage to speak to our partner, to be brutally honest with ourselves and with our partner about the fears and needs that drive us. No blaming! Then we are in a position to formulate a game plan, make steady progress towards goals and feel successful.
If we look at money as a tool for our personal growth, as a reflection of our personal values and as a feedback system as we move into alignment with who we really are, then we are positively affected. Our relationship grows and expands, too. Communication is a key component to a relationship and when there are no energetic walls and when we are willing to be vulnerable, our relationship will then thrive.
Each one of us has a particular set of energetic tendencies or psychological influences that are part of our Soul self and personality. Contained within these energetic patterns are the seeds for your success and the shadows you must embrace and make peace with.
By utilizing money as a personal growth tool, each of us has the opportunity to get in touch with this inner part of ourselves that drives our life experiences.When we do this, money becomes a blessing and boon to our relationship.
If you would like to understand more about your Soul self, the energetic codes you were born with, I'd love to work with you. Contact me to find out about who you really are and what stops you from having the abundance you want.
More relationship expert advice on YourTango:
- Relationship Advice: 5 More Things Your Mom Never Told You
- Why Men Are More Distant Than Women in Relationships
- 9 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship
This article was originally published at Connect To Your True Nature . Reprinted with permission from the author.