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• The advantage of a long distance relationship is that the "honeymoon" stage gets extended, as face-to-face interaction is so limited, that the newness lasts longer. The disadvantage of a long distance relationship is that because of this, you don't fully experience the "power struggle" stage of relationship and so you don't have a chance to work through your issues together. I'm not sure what your ages are, but for a man who is a "young adult" it is appropriate for him to be focused on establishing his career and working hard. That probably won't change in your partner, as that is a big priority for him and something he brings to the relationship. Bottom line, if you both really do love each other, there is no downside to committing to a "short distance" relationship and see how you get along together on a deeper level. Don't decide prematurely if it will work or it won't, find out! Wish you the best, Adam Sheck SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: What should I do?

• If you're NOT in love with him, then he may be "perfect" in a "relationship resume" sense, yet perhaps he's not perfect for you. Add to this your belief that the timing isn't right for you to commit to someone and it seems like you know what you need to do. No one can "refuse" to break up with you, if you choose to break up with them. Your issue might be one of self-esteem (or lack of it) or dependence (don't want to be alone) or something else. I'd recommend you do some deep soul searching and figure out what is going on and how you want to deal with it. If you can't do it on your own, I'd certainly recommend that you seek out some professional help to at least support you in moving forward. You probably just need a little short-term support, doesn't have to be long-term, as that might be too much of a commitment for you right now ;) Wish you the best, Adam Sheck SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Is there something wrong ...

• Kelly, Congratulations on finally breaking the cycle of abuse and being with a boyfriend who is healthier. I'm sure it is frustrating for both of you to have these trust issues continue to come up. It absolutely will take time for your mind and body to "catch up" with this new, healthy way of being. Sounds like you need some support in moving through it and "updating" your old trust (or actually mistrust) patterns. A good psychotherapist can certainly help, as can some of the self-help (12-step) programs, perhaps Codependents Anonymous. I'm not saying that you are codependent, just that you can get a lot of support from others who have gone through similar issues. AND, good communication with your partner in BOTH directions is also critical. You might want to read a few of my posts on this, either at Your Tango or at my blogsite, http://passion101.com/blog. It CAN get better. Dr. Adam Sheck SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: How do i make my bf ...

• This is a common issue in many long-term, committed relationships. The majority of the time, the issue is psychological and the prognosis is a good one. You CAN bring back the passion. In fact, this is what I specialize and work with at my website, http://passion101.com (some of the posts are here you Your Tango as well). I'd suggest you read a few of my blogposts about the "power struggle" that occurs in relationships, why it MUST occur and how to move through it and reach a conscious, passionate relationship. That will get you started for sure. Please don't give up hope. Dr. Adam Sheck SEE MORE

  POSTED ON: Passion in Marriage

Love this article, will definitely help ALL relationships and marriages, not just second ones. Wonderful the way you weaved the Imago approach and educated so eloquently. Adam Sheck
Posted on: What Does It Take To Make A Second Marriage Work?
Krystal, Glad you found the article helpful and perhaps comforting as well. If I can help in some way, please let me know. Wish you the best, Adam Sheck
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Clinton, Thanks for sharing your thoughts, glad that mine made some sense to you. Look forward to learning more about you and your work. Adam Sheck
Posted on: Are "Cougar" Relationships Doomed?
Tambre, Glad you enjoyed the article. And you are absolutely right, it's all about the context. Why does this one day of the year create such pressure, such stress for single people? Your recommendations sound like health ones for sure. Have a great New Year!
Posted on: Desperately Seeking The New Year Kiss?
Thanks for understanding and commenting on the point I'm trying to express. "Don't talk so much" isn't about letting men off the hook at all! It's about providing a context for women who want to connect with them. As a psychologist, I am trained to meet my patients where they are. This is the only way to create a therapeutic relationship that has the potential for growth and change. I am extrapolating this perspective by saying that women need to meet their men where THEY are in order to create growth and change. Adam Sheck
Posted on: An Expert's Love Advice: Stop Talking So Much