Most couples start off as soul mates who are best friends and passionate lovers. As time passes they find that holding on to that ‘in love feeling’ is a real challenge. Some partners begin to feel more like roommates than soul mates. Are you in that category?
Here are 6 ways to tell where your relationship is on the roommate to soul mate scale.
1. The passion is gone. Sex feels anything but passionate. What used to be a magical encounter is now just one more thing on an never ending to do list.
2. You’ve stopped playing together. Can you even remember all the fun things you used to do together? How many are still going on? When was the last time you put everything (work, kids,the house,parents) on hold and got away just the two of you together?
3. For roommates bickering is the new ‘normal.’ Even when things are going well it feels tense and you quickly fall into being critical of one another.
4. You would rather be with friends than alone with your partner. Friends feel safe while the trust in your relationship is shaky and unreliable.
5. You’ve closed down emotionally. Sharing personal feelings is risky because whenever you let your guard down your partner blames, judges or leaves you feeling small.
6. You no longer feel like a top priority. Hobbies , friends, kids and the dog all seem much more important to your partner than you do. You often feel invisible.
If the above convinces you that you’re in a roommate relationship don’t despair. Take action! All of the above can turn around dramatically with good relationship coaching.
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