Knowing when to get help is the first step.
3. Your kids keep asking you if you're getting divorced. As much as you and your partner try to avoid facing your relationship problems, your children tune right into it. They can sense the lack of closeness and tension between those they look to for safety and security. If they are calling your attention to the distance between you, it has already grown to a dangerous level. Couples therapy is most effective when you get help as soon as possible.
4. You have stopped reaching out to make things better. Feeling hurt and rejected you are no longer making the extra effort to reach out and close the distance between you and your partner. It feels too risky to make the first move. Another setback, another rejection feels more than you can bare. Unfortunately, your partner is probably feeling the same way and this begins a steady slide toward separating. Couples therapy can help you both cooperate together to reverse this process.
5. You often think about having an affair. Getting love, attention and affection from someone new suddenly seems like a reasonable solution to your relationship issues. This thought is a red flag, a signal that your unhappiness has reached a desperate level. Having an affair will double your troubles and could possibly be a deal breaker. Don't take that chance. Use your desperation to call a marriage counselor and start working to repair your relationship.