5 Ways To Ruin Your Sex Life

By Drs. Chuck And Jo-Ann Bird. Posted on Dec 26th 2012.

unhappy couple in bed — Do you have a healthy sex life?

You may be the problem in your relationship and not even know it.

Also, don't hesitate to share your desires with your partner — and refrain from blaming your partner for sexual issues, especially before you take a hard look at yourself. Finger-pointing can seem like the easy way out, but the truth is it takes two to tango.

4. Not talking to your partner about sex. As therapists, we are always amazed at how many people are comfortable having sex (in fact, lots of sex) but are uncomfortable talking about sex. It's like there is an unspoken rule: "Do it but don’t talk about it." If you're comfortable enough to have a sexual relationship with your partner, you should feel comfortable enough to openly talk to your partner about sex. Establish a dialogue. Share the things you like, accentuate the positive and downplay the negative. Make your partner feel good about the sex you have together, and your partner will want to make you feel good by doing the things you enjoy the most.

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5. Not making sex a priority. Sadly, with many couples, sex is not a priority. Even worse, the relationship itself is not even a priority. Work, family, obligations and other "have-to"s always seem to get in the way. At the end of the day, we wind up zapped of energy in the nedroom. Our favorite quote sums it up: "Where the attention goes, the energy flows."

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If you want a healthy sex life in your relationship, then put more attention and focus into it. Make it a priority! Think about these barriers and work to overcome them. Be honest with your partner, but most of all, be honest with yourself. Once you stop being shy about sex, it will come more naturally to you and your lover.

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Drs. Chuck And Jo-Ann Bird

Counselor/Therapist

Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird

Relationship Counselors

Board Certified Clinical Sexologists

Location: Brandon, FL

Credentials: LMHC, NCC, PhD

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