Are Americans Deluded About Love and Sex?
By Dr. Erica Goodstone. Posted on .
Americans are brought up to believe in Fairy Tales. Princess meet Prince. They are kept apart by different trial and tribulations. But love eventually triumphs over evil. The Prince and Princess meet again, marry and go off into the sunset to live a happy, joyous and forever loving life.
The reality, for most of us, is quite different. First, very few of us are born into royalty or the top level of society. Only a few of us are super models, famous celebrities, star athletes or prom queens. Only a few of us have the beauty, charisma or natural charm to become the most sought after, desirable lover and lifelong mate. Most of us are much more average than we are willing to admit, but we secretly dream of hitting the jackpot in love.
The most ordinary man with a very ordinary income and simple lifestyle may seek and long for the most beautiful woman he can find. After much disappointment and rejection, he may "settle" for the average woman who is willing to share her life with him. Instead of viewing this woman's love as a "gift," he may take it for granted and be unwilling to provide the love and sensual attention she needs for her own sense of well being and feminine pride.
The most ordinary woman with an ordinary income and modest means may seek her dream man, an executive or entrepeneur who travels the world and provides a beautiful home and lifestyle for her and the children they bring into the world. What she often leaves out of the equation is the total loneliness, sense of abandonment and lack of sensual connection that will occur as she is left alone to manage the household for days and weeks and even months at a time. Her wealthy, successful man who travels often will most probably have sexual affairs which provide him with the excitement he craves, leaving him less desirous of the pleasure his wife may offer to him.
Many men and women enter marriage with their eyes wide shut. They often do not take a good hard look at their future spouse's family dynamics. They often do not focus on their future spouse's past behavior in prior relationships. Many men and women jump almost blindly into what is probably the most important decision of their life. Who they marry, how they feel, how they are treated, and whether the spouse is in algnment with their goals and dreams, can make the difference between a successful and joyful life or one of suffering, obstacles, emotionally painful drama, and even despair.
Women are often deluded about male sexuality. Even though it is widely publicized that many men cheat on their wives, contact 900 numbers, visit exotic dance clubs and cohort with prostitutes, many women do not believe that this applies to their man. So when a woman finds her husband watching pornography, sharing intimate conversations on Facebook or meeting secretly with another woman, she may be devastated. Even though she has been privately rejecting her husband's sexual advances for months or even years, she somehow believes he will just be able to contain his energy and sublimate his desires.
