What’s most thrilling is that our true self is unaffected by anything that’s happened in our past!
Our True Self, Untouched by Life
“I am convinced that there is another realm to experience when we are ready to go beyond this life to which we have become accustomed. This other realm defies our laws of science and logic. It is a place within each of us that is free of ordinary boundaries, rules and limitations.” Wayne Dyer
In my first two articles I described the perspective of the true self—the deepest part of who we already are--which is a perspective we can always choose—always! Now I want to describe the powerfully simple way to make that choice.
The true self simply can't be, and never has been affected by past trauma, challenges in our childhood, emotional upsets in our lives, or even by our own doubts and fears. This place is completely immune to our limited, psychologically oriented view of ourselves, and immune to any hurt we have experienced in our lives. Please trust me on this, no matter what your mind may be telling you!!
So rather than trying to fix our personality by looking for answers to our emotional issues outside of ourselves, we can simply access that part of ourselves where freedom from limitations already exists. From that vantage point, we will actually see a completely different world, and experience ourselves in a radically new light. It is also the place where the deepest expression of love, caring, and truth can be accessed.
Getting Out of the Box
So here’s how to access that part of yourself:
Imagine that after being stuck in the box, which I described in my second article, and almost giving up believing that you would ever get out, you found that you were able to cut a hole in the side of the box and climb out. You are now free, and your mind is free. You may sense a feeling of relief, liberation, or joy. It may be like other moments in your life, which I described in my first article,when you felt this sense of freedom and possibility.
When I want to get out of the box, I recall how life looks to me when I am experiencing and knowing from this perspective. The musings of my ego become completely irrelevant. Instead, I focus my attention on this sense of being emotionally and spiritually free--unwilling to give it up for anything—while paying attention to whatever is happening. Then, this deep and profound freedom becomes the context through which I see the world.
As you look around from out of the box, what do you see?
How do you feel?
What is your sense of being alive?
Is there anything missing from who you are?
How does your life look to you now?
What will you do to create the life you want?
What can you do each day?
Spiritual teachers have described this kind of attention as having one eye focused within, and one eye focused out. But do not confuse the eye focused within as meaning you are focused on the thoughts of the ego. It certainly is not. It is focused purely on the sense of freedom.
Carefully notice how it feels to be suddenly and totally free. Take a few moments to fully experience this freedom. Know that this freedom is you.
Recalling this experience will be most helpful as you choose to get out of the box in the future. And its profound implications for your life and especially your relationships, which I will describe in the next few articles, will become more apparent.
From this new perspective, you might feel a sense of well-being, happiness, confidence, hope, strength, lightness, or a feeling of being fully alive, spontaneous, and free. You might also feel something quite different from this. That’s fine, as long as it embodies the essence of freedom. It’s how it feels when you are not experiencing life through the distortion of the ego. It is real, and true. And it’s a perspective which will get deeper as you trust and align yourself with it more and more. This is who you really are, liberated from your mind, from your past, from your problems, and focused instead on the future, where you want to go, and on a rational rather than emotional plan for moving forward.
So, I am proposing an entirely new approach to fulfillment and change. It is grounded in the belief that we can discover our true nature, and from that perspective, we can solve many emotional issues in our life. I’ve used this approach with many hundreds of clients over the past decade, and they find the same freedom to resolve issues, that is awaiting you as well.
The following are the fundamental truths about who we really are and how to create transformational change in ourselves and in our lives. Think about them from out of the box, where they will guide you to a deeper understanding of who you are, and have always been!
Ten Fundamental Truths About Who We Really Are:
1. We are not our thoughts or our feelings. Who we really are is something much deeper than this.
2. The ego, intent on maintaining its rigid control, will do all it can to hide this understanding, so that it can dominate our life.
3. When we step back from the ego our mistaken assumptions about ourselves and life will be revealed.
4. Once revealed, the ego is exposed as a misguided, and self-centered illusion that demands and consumes all of our attention.
5. The true self is not something we must feel in order to access it, but it is a perspective on ourselves and on life that we can always choose.
6. Shifting to the perspective of the true self is simple with the right tools and the intention to do so.
7. The true self is accessible at all times and in all circumstances, and is already there waiting, and yearning to be found.
8. The true self is separate from anything that has ever happened to us, and therefore unscarred and unaffected by it.
9. When we are living from our true self, nothing is wrong, so nothing needs to be “fixed.”
10. Being our true self will reveal our love, our wisdom, our compassion, our life purpose, and what is really “true.”
I will be writing more articles in the coming weeks about using this simple, powerful and transformative process for quickly resolving many issues within yourself, and in your relationships, so that you can have the life and the happiness that you truly want.
Look for the next article which will specifically address how to achieve the deepest experience of intimacy and sexuality—even beyond orgasm-- from out of the box. It’ll be a great one!
In the meantime, please check out my book, Out of the Box for Life: Being Free is Just a Choice (HarperCollins) and my website where you can, for a limited time, get a copy of my e-book, Out Of The box For Life for just $2.99. Enjoy!