Listening to your heart is essential to happiness, and the most open to listening are kids.
Could children dramatically increase your intelligence in a matter of moments? And I'm talking about WISDOM … not knowledge.
Knowledge is a series of facts (and facts change over time) that you memorize and can repeat.
Wisdom is experience. Wisdom is innate. Wisdom has nothing to do with facts and figures; it has to do with heart and gut.
When you experience something, your heart calculates "I like" or "I don't like" and you either do more of "like" or notice the "don't like" and change your approach.
Recently, I was working with a patient … and as a general rule, many of my adult patients are struggling to connect to their heart's desire … they have been told one too many times that they are burdensome, wrong, or insignificant.
As I was working, Amory walked in … cute as can be (not disruptive … my kids are very respectful of my home office). She asks if she can help … I say "Yes! ... tell me what to do if you are not getting what you want!" She paused, thoughtfully, and said, "try a different approach."
I am a huge fan of the child wisdom. If you wish to rapidly increase your wisdom, listen to your kids! Children are authentic … they tell the truth … they are real … they don't mince words … they are heart connected … they know what they want.
Adults think about what other people want … attempt to live up to some standard … try not to impose on other people … and have no idea what they want. (Not all … just sayin' … too often this is the reality!)
Awhile back, my mother wondered why it seemed like people moved away from her. I had already asked if she wanted my help in her life, and she said no … so I asked her if she would ask someone else just to hear their advice? She said yes, and I passed the phone to Savannah. My mom did what most adults did, she wouldn't ask her child, thinking "this child doesn't know about life."
She missed the best advice of her life!
After she hung up I explained to Savannah what the question was, and I asked her what she might have advised. She didn’t have the life experience of being left alone, but she knew exactly what to do. She spelled out exactly how to connect with people … no prompting from me at all. I shared her advice in my community, but my mom never heard it. Too bad.
Children know exactly what they want and process experience and change even when it hurts. They will FIGHT when they feel betrayed, unsupported, or unaccepted. Most of all, they are truth tellers.
A child's wisdom is priceless. I have done everything I can to NOT break that connection, but our culture is based on right and wrong, so I can't completely prevent it.
I encourage the connection to listen to the advice from their heart and gut by asking for their thoughts and opinions. When they say, "I don't know," I say, "that's fine, neither do I … I would still like to hear your best guess." I believe that this exchange causes them to dig deeper in thought … to what is true within their heart.
I ask them for advice. I respect their opinion, and it is not a challenge to value their wisdom, as they have given me some of the best advice I have received.
Don't make the mistake my mother made … respect and value the wisdom of heart and gut connected children. Do everything you can to protect and honor that connection in your children ... it will get them farther (in my opinion) than any education they might receive.
As an example of this wisdom, I recently asked my patients to email subscribers to share their greatest kid challenges. I then recorded our two eldest daughters answering "How to Get Your Kids to Do What You Want, Without Yelling." The wisdom was deep and profound. You will find creative and useful approaches to improving your relationships and cooperation with your kids.
Dr. Stone practices Integrated Natural Medicine using a Five Element approach to identify your negative patterns of body and spirit. His practice is located in beautiful Asheville, NC, with people driving 3+ hours for his hands on care. If you are in the vicinity and want to see Dr. Stone to increase your health and happiness, or are not in the region and want to see "health coaching" options, visit his practice here.