Physical beauty is one very small component of your attraction power.
Are you happy with your attraction ability? Not beauty, which can attract, but your overall attraction power. Do you attract immaturity, unfaithfulness, or selfishness in your friends or partners? Would you be excited to hear that you have significant control over what you are attracting? Having control is always better than the lack, so indulge me in finding your control.
It is your energy that defines your attraction power. I'm not referring to the physical energy we studied in 10th grade science class. Even someone with very little attraction power can have a day when they feel energetic. The energy I am referring to is the "character" of the person. This attractive energy, beyond physical beauty, can be defined by the "Five Elements," the ancient teachings of Eastern Medicine. These elements of attractive energy include passion or enthusiasm, caring or kindness, wisdom or resourcefulness, ease or confidence, and respect or power.
The most energetically attractive people on the planet are celebrities, and particularly, beautiful celebrities. Angelina and Brad might be considered culturally beautiful, but Hillary and Oprah would possibly attract more eyes and ears than either of them. Being attractive does not mean you are pretty by some cultural standard. It means that people are attracted to your presence. They want to see you, hear you, and possibly touch you because of the energy you have and how it makes them feel.
By this definition, physical beauty is an element of attractive energy, but because of our cultural views of beauty and celebrity, people with those titles will often be "assigned" an attractive energy, such as confidence and respect. Similarly, we may assign doctors with respect or power and mothers with caring or kindness, even though we all know exceptions to these “assigned” values.
By now, you are excited, intrigued, or at least curious about this "new" definition of attractiveness. We can’t all be swimsuit models or movie stars, so the concept of having control of your attractive power, outside these two qualifications, should ignite (at least) curiosity in the "rest of us."
The Five Elements concept is a guide to energy flow. The energy of the seasons is an example. Winter is the water element, water creates wood, the spring, which creates summer, the fire element, into harvest time, the earth element, and as the plants sink back into the soil in fall, the metal (mineral) element.
Human life also flows from conception and birth (water), to growth (wood), to expression of passion (fire), which in life means the harvest of our passion, such as financial wealth, family, and social expansion (earth), which flows into the fall of life, enjoying the wisdom of experience and slowing down to enjoy the beauty (metal).
Emotional development flows from nurturing a baby (mother earth), to validation (you are ok…metal), to exploring and choosing (water), to boundaries and structure (wood), to love and passion (fire). There is a flow of energy in a single cell or community of cells, in a single person or community of people. There is also a flow of energy in attraction.
Your attractive power or energy is influenced by the energy of water. Water chooses wisely, calmly, and always confidently (it always reaches its goal…the ocean or lake, right? Never fails). Your water energy is expressed by your confidence and trust in the shifting of your environment. Your ability to flow left, right, fast, and slow and trust that flow as the perfect momentum toward your goal increases your attractiveness.
Your attractive power or energy is influenced by the energy of wood. Wood springs from the soil and stands firmly in its place. Your wood energy is expressed by your control of life structure and boundaries: respect and power.
Your attractive power or energy is influenced by the energy of fire. Fire is nourished by wood and dances with excited energy as it gathers attention from the warmth and brightness it emits. Your fire energy is expressed in your highest values and passions…expressed fully without holding back. This enthusiasm for life and your gifts makes you very attractive, indeed. Your attractive power or energy is influenced by the energy of earth. Earth is nourished by fire and cares for and provides safety and nourishment for the ones it loves. Your earth energy is expressed through your consideration and kindness for others.
Your attractive power or energy is influenced by the energy of metal. Metal is nourished by earth and extracts the richness of the earth energy to enhance life, or creates beauty from the pressure of earth to create diamonds or other precious metals. Your metal energy is expressed through taking in the richness of life, and creating wisdom and resourcefulness from the pressure and strain that you endure.
While this doesn't "fix" or instantly create the life and relationships you desire, it does give a template or map for identifying what elemental energies you need to expand to become more "attractive." In future articles, I’ll expand on the strategies for energizing your elements and your attraction power.
If you are eager to learn more, join our "Healing Me!" community for weekly tips and strategies to increase your attractive energy.
Connect to your own "healing mindset" through Dr. Stone's first book, "When Did Natural Become the Alternative!?"
Dr. Stone practices Integrated Natural Medicine using a Five Element approach to identify your negative patterns of body and spirit. His practice is located in beautiful Asheville, NC; with people driving 3+ hours for his hands on care. If you are in the vicinity and want to see Dr. Stone to increase your health and happiness, visit his practice here. (or to read more about consulting or coaching).
If you would like more tips and strategies for improving self esteem and personal value, sign up for his FREE Newsletter, "Healing Me!"
More life coach advice on YourTango: