Without Ego

By

Without Ego
Perfection is not the goal – healthy living is.

Without ego:
We’d have no control over our emotions, and be battered around by them, like a ship in a stormy sea with no rudder.
We wouldn’t be able to protect ourselves against others’ emotions and feelings, and every little thing others said and did would cut us to the quick.
We wouldn’t be able to make plans and follow through to reach goals
We couldn’t keep ourselves going in a productive direction when obstacles come along
We’d have no sense of who we are, how we are the same or different from others, and we’d never learn the lessons of shared humanity.

As a psychologist, I seek to help people integrate all the components of ego, body, emotions, mind and spirit until they all work together in a healthy human way. Perfection is not the goal – healthy living is. When your body (with all its human flaws and imperfections) functions well, all its many cells, organs, hormones, fluids, muscles, bones, nerves and sinews cooperate and work together to help you experience and express your life. When your body, mind, spirit, emotions—and yes, your ego—work together, spirit doesn’t have to work against ego, ego doesn’t have to work against spirit, and there’s no internal fight—no struggle for supremacy, no inner denial or right/wrong battle. Each component does its part, and all work together to help you become the most shining example of who you are. That’s what the old song about “this little light of mine”, and “ET”, and “inner light” or “inner spirit” means—when all of who we are works together, we are free to be the best of who we were born to be.

 

When I think of my body with all its billion miracles and exquisitely effective methods of expression both conscious and unconscious; with all its components of which I approve and those for which I have enough self-denial to disapprove—I am suddenly reminded to regard my whole self (body, mind, spirit, emotions, and ego ) with the awe, gratitude, and gentleness I deserve. I know I can count on all my component parts to help me through my lessons for when my body, my ego, or my feelings you insist I focus my attention I cannot deny them.

My Ego has a sharply focused viewpoint; boundless pride; a fine-tuned sensitivity to others' egos; and the ability to keep me focused: on my uniqueness (often auto-interpreted as weirdness); my responsibility to me; and my essential human aloneness. It is a precious, irreplaceable tool. When I can manage to see myself, not as a disparate collection of separate parts, but as an amazing, cohesive design of interconnected, finely designed components working smoothly together, I am filled with awe at the miracle of each one of us, myself included. When I stop trying to resist, resent, overpower, deny or ignore parts of myself, and instead seek to help the whole human package be the best I can be, I find myself as peaceful and joyful as I have ever been.

 

I sense that when the time cones to exchange my body/ego for new tools, I will feel bereaved. Let me not waste a moment of this opportunity to learn with such companions as I may not know again, my ego, my emotions, and my body! (From It Ends with You © 2006 Tina B. Tessina)

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Nothing Normal

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thank you for your free articles, you have a lot of good stuff in there. A couple of the girls at work and I read your articles and get a good laugh. You're giving advice assuming that our lives are what YOU consider normal. You have a good job, make good money, live in a nice house, wear nice clothes, probably have good make-up, have ... Read more

Debunking Myths About Dating

By

I'm updating my book The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. The new version will be called Dr. Romance's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age. The following article is excerpted from the new book (edited). A lot of the problems that come up in Dating Again are generated by social expectations, (how other people think you should behave or things ... Read more

Who Are You Really Rescuing?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I read your article about rescuing: Avoiding the Drama Triangle. I have been rescuing my mother from the big, bad wolf, my father. He would beat my mother, me and my sister. I decided to rescue her. She let me rescue her from her second husband, when she needed money, favors, grocery shopping and now health problems. As I ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB