ProConnect

But My Parents Divorced...Will I? 3 Steps To Avoid Past Mistakes

By

But My Parents Divorced...Will I? 3 Steps To Avoid Past Mistakes
Expressing love and kindness will put you on the fast track to a happy relationship.
Want to break the cycle of divorce? Read on and follow these three surefire tips.

If you're the adult child of a divorce or simply trying to improve your marriage, here are three tips to help you cultivate a good relationship with your partner.

1. Weekly State of the Union Discussions 
This is not an argument or complaint session. It's an opportunity to update each other on how things are going between you. I recommend it because ACD's often tend to avoid talking about what's going on until a problem is created. If you keep each other informed of both the good things and the problems on a regular basis, nothing will get out of hand or become too dramatic to solve easily. This works every time with every couple in counseling with me who are willing to do it.

More from YourTango: Dear Dr. Romance: Should a grad student in her 20s date a man who

2. Express Love, Kindness and Sweetness
The relationships depicted in the media (and probably your own parents' relationship) do not model kind, loving and considerate behavior very well. Although the press may be bored by politeness, kindness and happiness, those traits will make your partner and your relationship flourish and blossom. Consider kindness to be the lubricant of your communication; and expressing love to be the fertilizer that makes the relationship bloom.

3. Caring For Yourself And Your Partner
Guard against sacrificing too much by making sure you care about yourself, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Guard against narcissism and selfishness by caring about your partner in the same four areas. Achieving balance in these areas is the best way to ensure that your relationship will thrive, and no one will carry too much resentment, which is the only emotion that can destroy love.

More from YourTango: Dr. Romance On The 9 Worst Marital Habits To Avoid

Just because your parents had a tumultious marriage doesn't mean you will have one, too. If you put effort into it, and follow the three tips I've provided, you will be one step ahead of those who don't. 

More relationship coach on YourTango:

 

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: Should a grad student in her 20s date a man who

By

Dear Dr. Romance: We are co-workers and I've know him for about two years. He's very nice, funny and in very good shape. We've built a pretty solid friendship. We hang out a couple times a month (when I'm home from school). But, lately he's been pushing for a relationship (seeing as how I'm graduating next year). He's very ... Read more

Dr. Romance On The 9 Worst Marital Habits To Avoid

By

I sees many clients who are having marital problems because of the following bad habits. If you find yourself doing any of these things, consider changing your behavior or getting counseling. 1. You place social media above real communication. This can be a big problem, especially with younger couples. Feeling that you’ve discussed something because ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: I can now free myself and enjoy helping people

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I came across your web site when I was desperately looking for motivation. I'm a salesman selling first class products but I couldn't get motivated and it's been a problem for months. It's been getting worse. I read "Motivation and How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and now I'm sorted out. I ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
How to Date Higher Quality Men: 5 Changes You Must Make First

Want To Date A Higher Quality Man? 5 Changes You Must Make First

Learn how to attract and date higher quality men, and have the dating life you've always wanted.

Natural Solutions To Dealing With A Nervous Breakdown

You Had A Nervous Breakdown. Now What? 4 Steps To Take To Heal

You have to understand that you don't have to say yes to everything.

Relationships: How To Run From A Toxic Relationship

5 Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship (And How To Get Out)

Most of us can admit to remaining in a toxic relationship well beyond its expiration date.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS