Looking For Love After Divorce?

By

Looking For Love After Divorce?
Don't Repeat Past Mistakes. Follow These Three Tips

Looking for love after divorce? Here are three tips to help as you begin dating after your divorce.

1. Be suspicious if it all seems “too good to be true” – it probably is.
If your subconscious, neurotic needs are running the show, it’s fabulous at first and then horrible. If your common sense is running it, it starts out tentative, and grows stronger when you meet the right person.  If your friends are worried about this relationship, listen to them. They could be wrong, but what if they’re right? You need to find out.

 

2. You shouldn’t feel like you always know what to do. You and this new person are doing a new thing.
Seek to work as a team to figure it out as you go along.  If either one of you is in charge, there’s probably a problem. If you’re working together, even though it’s not too smooth, it’s probably going OK.

3. Don’t keep secrets. 
Talk about past relationship issues, and be willing to share your emotions and reactions with each other.  etting to know each other is the key to developing a working relationship. Don’t follow some set of mental rules – they’re always a trap from your childhood – don’t repeat your early family. That style doesn’t suit who you are as an adult. Instead, seek to learn something new, about yourself and about each other. If you’re afraid that telling the truth  will upset your partner, you need to test that right away, to find out if you can get through the problem. Screwing things up is the way to find out if you can fix them together.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Creating Holiday Magic

By

Recently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course dinner, Uncle Tommy would get up and go to the piano, and just start playing. The whole ... Read more

6 Signs That Your Relationship Is Sucking The Life Out Of You

By

The unspoken dating rule is that once you're bonded with someone, you don't want to let go, even if things aren't going great. Since most of us like to avoid our feelings, we don't want to do the grieving that's necessary to let go. But when you've had a loss, there are a certain number of tears you must cry to let go ... Read more

Facing A Bad Breakup? Learn How To Forgive And Forget The Drama

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thanks for sharing the great article  "A Good Cry" !!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have a question about it: " ... If you're trying to help someone cope with a loss, don't try to make the bereaved person feel better. It just shuts down their grief and makes them feel that their feelings are unwanted. Listen if you ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular