When I met Richard, my husband, October 10, 1981, he was sitting outside, and the sun was glinting off his red hair, and my whole body and soul said wow!” Twenty-three years later, we’re still happy. It turned out to be a lasting love at first sight. How did I know?
I didn’t. It’s a lovely story, and all true, but it leaves out some important facts. The truth is that I felt that “wow!” to one degree or another for many guys while I was single. The difference is that with Richard, everything progressed pretty seamlessly from that first day until marriage. He turned out to be a good guy, our chemistry worked, and (with considerable work) we learned how to create a lasting, loving partnership. Now, more than 23 years later, we feel happy and blessed.
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Our very good luck in having “love at first sight” came true only in hindsight. No one really knows at the beginning. Still, that initial flash of insight did exist, and was part of what later developed into lasting love.
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I trust my intuition in many ways. If I'm thinking of someone, I call them. Sometimes, they were hoping I would. Once or twice, as I've picked up the phone to call, the friend I was calling was already on the line and the phone hadn't even rung yet. At times people call me, and I say “You got my message” because I was just thinking of calling them.
Intuition and empathy are basic tools for a good psychotherapist. In my sessions, I pay attention to get the meta- communication—the things clients “aren’t” saying verbally—to help my clients clarify and solve their problems. I have operated on my intuition, balanced by rational thought, all my life, and it's led me to living a life that is all one piece, blending work, home and relationships, and that has meaning and joy for me. It also helps me help my clients learn to use their own intuition.
Intuition is not as magical or mysterious as it sounds. It’s a mental tool that uses our perception of things that may not be obvious otherwise, such as someone’s facial expressions, pheromones (subliminal scent cues), past behavior and “vibes” to give us an impression we could not get on a rational level. Trusting intuition and giving yourself a chance to check it, opens up your receiving process—so you notice what's coming your way, and can be open to it. Previously in this newsletter, I’ve explained “prepatory set” a tool our brains use to sort through all the overwhelming data coming in every moment, and filter out what you don't want to see, and highlight what you do want to see. This means that when you are open to getting intuitive info, you’ll find it. Both the positive and negative opportunities and choices are around us all the time. Our expectations and perception determine which options we notice most readily.