Handling the Green-Eyed Monster

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Handling the Green-Eyed Monster
Three tips for overcoming jealousy and living a more fulfilling life.

• Keep each other informed. Lying to your partner about whether you have broken an agreement does more damage than breaking the agreement. If you slip up, tell the truth. If it's your partner who has slipped, be open to listening to him or her without blaming or getting upset, so the two of you can negotiate a solution to the problem. If you or your partner continually create situations that aggravate jealousy, you may need to find a counselor to help you solve the problem.

• Give yourselves time. Patience and communication are your best allies. As you learn and grow together, trust gradually builds. As trust grows stronger, you can begin to relax the rules and allow yourselves more flexibility and freedom.

Remember to be gentle with yourself and each other. Don't be angry with yourself or your partner for being jealous. You'll have much better luck if you just see jealousy as a normal, human problem and work it out together. I wish you peace, within yourself, within your family, within the world.  

(Adapted from It Ends with You: Grow up and Out of Dysfunction.)

This article was originally published at Tina B. Tessina. Reprinted with permission.
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Dr. Tina Tessina

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Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
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tina@tinatessina.com
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Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
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