How To Decide Whether Or Not To End Your Marriage

By

How To Decide Whether Or Not To End Your Marriage
Don't give up just yet. It may be fixable.

To view the video, click here.

Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage?

Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did.

Consider these reasons to stay:

  1. You still love each other. Maybe you're irritated, frustrated or resentful, but bottom line, you'd be sad to lose your partner. Don't give up. What's wrong can probably be fixed. If you haven't calmly told the truth about how you're feeling, and it only comes out when you fight, then you haven't created a chance to fix things and restore your loving feelings.
  2. You have children. Divorce is devastating for kids, and it's not right as a parent to put your happiness above theirs. In any case, doing what it takes to repair the marriage will make everyone, including you, a lot happier than the failure of divorce. Leaving is only a good idea if your marriage is abusive. That's more damaging to kids than divorce.
  3. Your complaints are petty and juvenile. If you're mad because you're not getting enough attention or there's no romance, or someone else looks better to you than your partner, you're probably not being realistic or doing your part to fix things. Don't be a baby. Grownups don't keep complaining, whining and nagging – they figure out how to fix things.
  4. You haven't tried counseling, or you haven't put a real effort into it. You may need to try a couple of counselors before you find one you can work with. Look for a counselor who is demanding, who expects you to change what you're doing. It will be the best investment you ever made in your marriage and your own happiness.

Adapted from: Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.

For low-cost counseling, find me at LoveForever.com.

This article was originally published at Dr. Romance Blog. Reprinted with permission.

More relationship challenges advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Not Fighting

By

Fighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends: No matter what you’re fighting about: money, sex, kids or something else, the fighting is an indication that your communication isn’t working. If this happens only occasionally, such as when one or both of you are tired or stressed; it’s not too big a problem. However, if you argue or bicker on a ... Read more

These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness

By

When you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams. 1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is still right for you. Have your goals and dreams changed? Give yourself the freedom to ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: I have never met him and he lives in another co

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I stumbled upon your article "Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice" while I was searching for advice on dating a divorcee. I can't help but wonder what advice you would give to a girl who has never been married who is currently seeing a divorcee. I have never in my entire life dated a divorcee, so I am clueless. I am a ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS