Dr. Romance video: Am I too old to date again?

By

Dr. Romance video: Am I too old to date again?
In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life.

Click Here for Video

In today's world, people don't often realize the importance of companionship until later in life. Staying fit and physically and socially active increases your odds of finding someone to date, and also increases your libido and your chances of successful sex. But, beware of too much focus on the surface, and not enough content. Such relationships quickly become empty and stressful.

Older couples have many issues to work out while dating. They are established, with clear likes and dislikes, and may have difficulty reaching agreement on lifestyle issues. They often have grown families, who may have trouble accepting a parent's or grandparent's dating. They also have relationship experience, and a widow or widower, for example, may have trouble getting beyond the previous marriage, and dealing with a different person.  The media focus on youth and fitness these days can make anyone feel insecure and unattractive.

The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again,  shows you how to use the "get a life" method of pursuing your interests in a group fashion. Taking classes, supporting causes, or getting involved in civic, church or social groups will keep you interested, socially connected, and give you a chance to find someone with whom you have something in common.   Focus on activities that you enjoy (sports, classes, or political, social, charitable or religious activities ) which involve meeting other people and creating a social circle. 

If you are doing things that are meaningful to you, you'll automatically have something in common with anyone you meet there. It will also move your focus from desperation to something productive, which will bring out your most attractive character traits. As a bonus, you also get to observe that person around other people, which will tell you a lot about his/her character. Dating doesn't happen until you are already quite sure you two are mutually compatible and interested, and success is almost guaranteed.

Dr. Romance’s 3 tips to finding true love

1. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship. You can mess around with anyone (if you’re careful and have safe sex) but before you bring someone into your life, or share money or living space, remember they’re bringing baggage. Know what’s hidden – what’s not said at the beginning. Their baggage becomes your problem. Remember, whoever you’re dating is on best behavior. It gets worse later, not better.

2. Understand your own needs. Need a lot of space? Want lots of affection? Have to know what’s going on all the time? Or are you able to relax and go with the flow? Whatever your style is, it’s OK, but you need to know it and be able to communicate it to your future spouse. You can train each other, if you both know what you need.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Nothing Normal

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thank you for your free articles, you have a lot of good stuff in there. A couple of the girls at work and I read your articles and get a good laugh. You're giving advice assuming that our lives are what YOU consider normal. You have a good job, make good money, live in a nice house, wear nice clothes, probably have good make-up, have ... Read more

Debunking Myths About Dating

By

I'm updating my book The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. The new version will be called Dr. Romance's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age. The following article is excerpted from the new book (edited). A lot of the problems that come up in Dating Again are generated by social expectations, (how other people think you should behave or things ... Read more

Who Are You Really Rescuing?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I read your article about rescuing: Avoiding the Drama Triangle. I have been rescuing my mother from the big, bad wolf, my father. He would beat my mother, me and my sister. I decided to rescue her. She let me rescue her from her second husband, when she needed money, favors, grocery shopping and now health problems. As I ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB