Money's the last thing on your mind, but you need to take it into consideration.
So you've survived the fact that your spouse had an affair and you're working past it. And you're even able to accept the fact that their girlfriend is having their baby. Now you'll have to think about the financial impact it will have on you and your spouse.
It's not the first thing everyone thinks of, but the existence of an out-of-wedlock child will have a big economic impact, and the financial responsibility will grow with the child.
1. Unless you can settle with the child's other parent out of court, court costs can be very expensive.
However, they may be necessary to work out child support and/or custody arrangements that are enforceable. For this, you'll need a good family attorney. Even if you are able to work out an agreement without going to court, be sure to have it legally written up, notarized and recorded to prevent future problems.
2. Once you have an idea of what the legal costs and child support will be, you’ll need to rework your budget.
You may want to do this in therapy, because trimming the budget can activate a new round of blaming and anger. This is a great time to get full disclosure of all financial accounts, debts, and arrangements.
3. Don't forget to consider medical and life insurance in your costs.
It's best if you can put all costs, clothing, food, insurance, school fees, etc. into the legal custody and support agreement. An expert lawyer or accountant can help you estimate these costs accurately.
If you do all of these things then both your marriage and your pocketbook can make it through intact.
More Infidelity Advice from YourTango:
- Understanding Infidelity: Why We Cheat
- How To Save Your Marriage When You Feel Hopeless
- How To Overcome Your Fear Of Infidelity