5 recommendations for daily emotional hygiene.
Focus on re-building your life: Resentment is not practical it's a negative fantasy. Focus on the practical things you need to do and think. Get your emotional, personal and financial life together as soon as you can. Think about all the things you've been freed up to do and do some of them. Try things you would never have done before, or things you've always wanted to do. It's been said that living well is the best revenge. Use the energy from your anger and grief and channel them into doing things just for you. Try out for the play at the local theater, take dancing lessons or an art class, learn to scuba dive, get a pet, or plant a garden. Develop a support group for people with a similar problem. All of those things will keep you focused on the present and the future, instead of the past.
3. Maintain your happiness.
Do what you can to bring as much happiness as possible to yourself and others. Being happy is undeniably good for you. The endorphins it releases reduce stress and pain and boost your health and immune system. It also makes you glad to be alive and pleasant to be around.
There are three things you can do to create more happiness in your life:
Gratitude. Remember to notice and be thankful for whatever you have, what your friends, family and partner do for and give to you.
Generosity. Giving to others, especially giving thanks and kindness, will make you happy because most others will give back.
Ethics. Living your life according to a set of ethics that make sense to you will make you feel good about yourself and increase your happiness.
4. Set aside regular time for yourself.
Me time is important for nurturing your relationship with yourself. It is proof that you care about yourself, just as when your friend or partner spends time with you, you feel cared about. Take it as seriously as your business appointments or dates with other people you love. One day a week, I go swimming at the gym, then take myself out for a healthy lunch at a favorite restaurant. I almost never skip this and I don’t invite anyone to join me. It’s my time for me and it helps me stay on an even keel.
5. Spend time with people you love.
Being with people you care about and who care about you, is a great way to affirm your value as a person and to confirm that your life has meaning and purpose. Make sure you take good care of your friendship and family relationships. It’s a great way to take care of you. Emotional maintenance means thinking about your emotional health and staying in touch with your feelings. When my clients begin to focus on emotional hygiene, they report feeling increased hope and energy. You, too, can have renewed hope and energy and that's my wish for you.
From It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction