Dr Romance: 3 Tips to Living Together

By

Dr Romance: 3 Tips to Living Together
Cohabitation: Tips to Living Together with Someone instead of Getting Married

In the throes of a new romance, when dating and getting to know each other are going well, it’s easy to make a big decision from all the energy, or for the wrong reasons. Moving in together for the wrong reasons, or without advance planning, can jeopardize the whole relationship; so do it thoughtfully.

1. Make sure you know what your agreement is.
Treat your living together situation as if you were non-romantic roommates. Before you move in together, discuss what living together means. Is it a commitment? Discuss your lifestyles – is one of you tidier? If one or both of you have children, who gets to discipline? How will you divide the space? If the home belongs to one of you, how will you equalize the living areas? You need to know the answers before the move.


2. Know what to do if there’s trouble.
Make some agreements about what to do if you don’t agree on things, or if one of you feels that it’s not working out. You can agree on someone to use as a mediator or counselor. If you’re really excited about each other, this may seem unnecessary, but no matter how much you love each other, you can still get stuck in an impasse.

3. Get clear on your finances.
Moving in together automatically makes you financially entangled. Decide beforehand who pays what expenses, and what happens if someone wants to spend more on food than the other. Will you share rent and utilities equally?

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Not Fighting

By

Fighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends: No matter what you’re fighting about: money, sex, kids or something else, the fighting is an indication that your communication isn’t working. If this happens only occasionally, such as when one or both of you are tired or stressed; it’s not too big a problem. However, if you argue or bicker on a ... Read more

These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness

By

When you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams. 1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is still right for you. Have your goals and dreams changed? Give yourself the freedom to ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: I have never met him and he lives in another co

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I stumbled upon your article "Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice" while I was searching for advice on dating a divorcee. I can't help but wonder what advice you would give to a girl who has never been married who is currently seeing a divorcee. I have never in my entire life dated a divorcee, so I am clueless. I am a ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS