to the YourTango newsletter!

Continue to Site »»

ProConnect

Dear Dr. Romance: Why Doesn't He Want Me?

By . Posted on .

Dear Dr. Romance: Why Doesn't He Want Me?
Complaining about libido differences won't work but will push your partner further away.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I'm a housewife in my mid-thirties, married for 7 years, In our marital life i have never been satisfied, because our sexual never lasts more than 15 min. It makes me unhappy. I have spoken to him regarding this matter but he didn't take it seriously. I feel that he is avoiding me. In a year we have only been together for 2 times and only for 15 min. He is working permanent night shift and always claims he is tired. Sometimes i really feel that I need him very much but only get dissapointed. In the last two years, even though we are under same roof and sharing the same bed, there has been no sex. How can i handle this situation? I'm really confused and badly need a partner to share my feelings and emotions. The thing is he doesn't even have any affair outside; so why doesn't he want me?

More from YourTango: Dear Dr. Romance: why are men in their mid 40s-50s attracted to 2

Dear Reader:
Sex drive is quite complicated, so it's not easy for me to tell you what is wrong from your brief note. It's possible your husband's sex drive is not very strong, but it's more likely that he's not very educated about sex, or interested in it. It's possible he is having sex with men, or another woman. Complaining about it will not work -- it will just push him further away. What you need is a session with a therapist, Go by yourself if your husband won't go. You will get good information, and your husband will understand that the problem is serious. So, make an appointment, and invite him to go, but if he won't, go by yourself. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find a suitable therapist.

More from YourTango: What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?

Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three things That Can Ruin Your Marriage will guide you through conversations about sex with your husband.

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: why are men in their mid 40s-50s attracted to 2

By

Dear Dr. Romance:    I was wondering if in any of your books or articles you discuss about why men in their mid 40s-50s might be attracted to 20ish girls. I kind of know the obvious reasons, but being more curious about what that might mean maturity wise etc.  Dear Reader:   From your question, I don't know if ... Read more

What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship?

By

Unless you're completely out of touch with any media, written, audio or video, you have been bombarded with words like "dysfunctional relationship", "codependency" and "toxic family system". You may have noticed that there's a lot of information available about these relationships, but not too much about what to do about ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: at funerals, how do you comfort families in mou

By

Dear Dr. Romance: What suggestions can you offer for guests at funerals in regards to comforting families in mourning? Thanks! Dear Reader: Your presence at the memorial or funeral, honoring their loved one who passed, is the most comfort, so go if you can. When you are greeting the family at the funeral, simply say "I'm so sorry for ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

The Surprisingly Common Reasons Women Have Trouble Getting Wet

Here are 6 surprisingly common things that interfere with a woman's ability to self-lubricate.

shame

Why Did You Have To Say THAT?!?

Have you ever wondered how 'those' words came out of your mouth? Here's a peek beneath the surface.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS