Dear Dr. Romance: Why Doesn't He Want Me?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Why Doesn't He Want Me?
Complaining about libido differences won't work but will push your partner further away.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I'm a housewife in my mid-thirties, married for 7 years, In our marital life i have never been satisfied, because our sexual never lasts more than 15 min. It makes me unhappy. I have spoken to him regarding this matter but he didn't take it seriously. I feel that he is avoiding me. In a year we have only been together for 2 times and only for 15 min. He is working permanent night shift and always claims he is tired. Sometimes i really feel that I need him very much but only get dissapointed. In the last two years, even though we are under same roof and sharing the same bed, there has been no sex. How can i handle this situation? I'm really confused and badly need a partner to share my feelings and emotions. The thing is he doesn't even have any affair outside; so why doesn't he want me?

 

Dear Reader:
Sex drive is quite complicated, so it's not easy for me to tell you what is wrong from your brief note. It's possible your husband's sex drive is not very strong, but it's more likely that he's not very educated about sex, or interested in it. It's possible he is having sex with men, or another woman. Complaining about it will not work -- it will just push him further away. What you need is a session with a therapist, Go by yourself if your husband won't go. You will get good information, and your husband will understand that the problem is serious. So, make an appointment, and invite him to go, but if he won't, go by yourself. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find a suitable therapist.

Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three things That Can Ruin Your Marriage will guide you through conversations about sex with your husband.

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

6 Signs That Your Relationship Is Sucking The Life Out Of You

By

The unspoken dating rule is that once you're bonded with someone, you don't want to let go, even if things aren't going great. Since most of us like to avoid our feelings, we don't want to do the grieving that's necessary to let go. But when you've had a loss, there are a certain number of tears you must cry to let go ... Read more

Facing A Bad Breakup? Learn How To Forgive And Forget The Drama

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thanks for sharing the great article  "A Good Cry" !!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have a question about it: " ... If you're trying to help someone cope with a loss, don't try to make the bereaved person feel better. It just shuts down their grief and makes them feel that their feelings are unwanted. Listen if you ... Read more

Letting Go Takes Love

By

Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular