Dear Dr. Romance:
What is wrong with me? Angry, sad, blah? It's 5 am and I'm still awake. I'm 29, single (I don't mind), I go to school, an ok job, pets. I'm not starving, as long at there's a roof over my head i'm good to go. So many things I really want to do. I get into it then I don't feel like it and do nothing. I sometimes feel a little bit of despair or sadness or anger not too often but enough. Then I go back to being 'ok' and all gung-ho about the future. Gosh, I have so much to write and it never comes out right. I'm comfy in my body so it's not a weight issue. I don't feel like praying or doing homework. I want so many things. I've mentioned a little bit to a family member and it was embarrassing. I don't want their answers either. I don't know why, I just don't. Stranger still is deep down inside the answer or remedy scares me. I don't want an answer. I feel embarrassed just typing all of this. What the hell is wrong with me? I can't be depressed, I don't feel I have anything to be depressed about. This is silly. Anyone else feel like this? Is this normal?
It sounds like you're fighting yourself, and resisting having a relationship with yourself. The inner you wants to tell you some things about who you are and what you want, and you don't want to hear it. Try listening. Maybe there's some painful or embarrassing stuff in there, but if you hear it, and sort it out, you'll get a lot of rewards. You'll find a life path, a purpose, and you'll figure out how to be really happy. Ignoring yourself won't work. Please read "Winning the War Within," which will help you sort it out. There are many other articles at http://www.tinatessina.com/monthly_column.html which will help you understand yourself and create a better life. It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction contains a lot of information, exercises, and help to get your life on track.
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