Dear Dr Romance: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

By

Dear Dr Romance: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...
Dr. Romance Helps a reader who is sleeping with a married man.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I am a woman in my mid-twenties from India and I am working in the middle east in a professional job. I had a brief arranged marriage and am now getting divorced. One of my business clients, who is an Arab and over forty has been married for many years but claims his marriage is ending and that he loves me.

 

The problem is he always talks about sex. At work he is concerned about me, and talks about work matters, but when we are alone he just talks about sex and nothing else. I feel weird because I have something for this guy and was never into it for sex. Although we slept together once,— when his wife was away— I regretted it later. I enjoyed it and craved it sometimes. He is helpful if I have a flat tire or need some help, but otherwise he never misses a chance to grab my boobs or back and squeeze me.

When I try to talk to him about marrying me, he says his religion doesn't allow it, and life is not about marrying. When I tell him its time to settle down and have a family, he says home is about having someone to love and care for, and that doesnt require marriage.

I find it all weird.  I care about this man. I tried to forget and move on, but it's not happening. Can you help me please?

Dear Reader:

This sounds like a dangerous man to me. He may be there when you have a flat tire, but otherwise, he treats you with very little respect. This is one of the dangers of having sex too soon, or with a married man. He lost respect for you, and just wants to have his way with you. Don't believe his marriage is ending, and don't stay involved with him. He's been very clear about not wanting to marry you, and you know it. Find another way to deal with your flat tires and car problems.

Middle Eastern culture is tough on women, so be very careful who you date. You need to care about yourself, and treat yourself with respect  in order to get respect from men. I think you have been rather sheltered through your arranged marriage. Now that you're on your own, and away from home, you have to grow up fast. You're obviously very intelligent, but somewhat naïve emotionally. "You Be the Judge" and "Your Primary Relationship" will help you learn how to respect yourself and not rely on disrespectful men. If you're going to be out in the larger world, you need to be wise and cautious. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again contains steps you can follow to begin successful and safe dating.

For low-cost counseling, find me at LoveForever.com

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.

More relationship advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: is it natural for a man to masturbate?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I am single man, I have question for you, is it natural for a man to masturbate? I normally, do it everyday, sometimes 4 times a day. Tell me if its wrong or normal to fantasize my cousin and she is a woman? Is it that wrong thing to do? I love to masturbate and to me its fun and great feeling. Do you have any advice. I want to know if ... Read more

Surviving Loss and Thriving Again

By

None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional “til death do us part.” Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking the loss of that love. When you’re happy with someone, ... Read more

Dr. Romance on Silver and Gold: secrets to making and keeping fri

By

Make new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold.——adage Research conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish and others shows that the happiest and healthiest people are those who are well-connected to friends and family. But, in our mobile society, keeping friends is not always possible. Long-term friendships are wonderful and valuable, but ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular