Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Give Up on His Love?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Give Up on His Love?

Dear Dr. Romance:


We'd been really close and intimate. I thought we were going to be in a special relationship soon because he told me we were having something special. No matter how tired he was, he'd had his dinner with me.

He got paranoid every time I threatened to stop talking to him when he got me all jealous. Recently I was questioning him about texting other girls and we brought up the "freedom" matter. He thinks it's a freedom to text any girls he wants to. He knows how much it hurt me every time I think of him doing that. I asked him if I was just an ordinary friend to him and he suggested that we'd be best friends, just like what he's doing with some other girls! He said he didn't want to hurt me anymore and that he didnt want to confuse himself but he wants to remain close with me.

Eventually I made up my mind that I should stop any form of contact, at all. Did I make the right move, for I know it'd definitely hurt me more to be his "best friend" while loving him. Loving someone but not getting to own that person? It's going to hurt me more, isnt it?

Just when I think about all the things he'd done, like having dinner with me although he was so darn tired, etc., it makes me think that it's a waste to give up on this love. =(

 

Dear Reader:

Yes, you made the right move. He's not even close to being ready for a relationship, or he just doesn't care very much about you. This is not love. He may be kind, but he's not caring. He doesn't have enough integrity to commit. He's not done messing around; and if you take the relationship seriously while he's not, you're going to experience a lot of pain. Be friends with him if you want to, but stop looking for more. Find someone else to love. "When Love is Kind" will help you recognize the importance of kindness in a relationship. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again will show you a fun, safe and effective way to find a guy who can really care about you.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

What To Do When You (Literally) Can't Afford To Be Let Down Again

By

Dear Dr. Romance: My partner, with whom I have been in a relationship for the past year, has changed and let me down twice. We were first friends for several years, and became a couple a year ago. We both fell in love instantly and desired to live together to build a good future, financially, with family. We both have children from past relationships and ... Read more

Shared Laughter Is The Best Relationship Medicine

By

Dr. Romance writes, A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health. Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or your pet did) or talking about the funny scene in the latest hit ... Read more

Overcome Your Anxiety In 8 Simple Steps!

By

We are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to "acting out" behavior, such as drinking too much or creating problems with relationships, work or money as a distraction. To avoid these kinds of problems, follow these simple steps for resolving your fear and ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB