Dear Dr. Romance: Should he rent a room in his ex's house?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Should he rent a room in his ex's house?
Exes in themselves are not a threat.

Dear Dr. Romance,

Should a man expect a woman to want to become involved with him when he is still best friends with is ex-lover--and he is a renter in her house? He claims it is all over between them, but I don't see how he or the ex-lover should expect a woman to feel comfortable fitting into this arrangement. Please, I would love some perspective.

Dear Reader:

There's a lot of information I need to know before I can advise you. If he and his ex have been done with their relationship for a long time, yes, it might be OK. Exes in themselves are not a threat -- it's the nature of the friendship with the ex that could be a problem. Do they still have a romantic/sexual relationship?

The fact that he's still friends with his ex actually could be a good thing -- it probably means he didn't do anything awful in that relationship. The question is, do you trust him? Do you know him well enough?

Take your time, go slowly, and make friends with her. If you're close to her, you'll be able to see what's going on. If you actually care about him, then it's worth it to check things out. If you don't like what he's doing, don't expect him to leave his ex or end the friendship. It won't happen, and he'll hate you for it. If you make him choose, you'll be the one to go.  "Handling The Green-Eyed Monster" will teach you everything you need to know about jealousy. "How to be Irresistible to Your Mate" and "No Cooperation? Solve it Yourself" will show you what to do to solve the problems.    How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free will teach you the skills you need to know to make your relationship a success.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: she is in denial and wants to escape the pain

By

Dear Dr. Romance: My best girlfriend ever and I dated for about eight months, then had a long distance relationship when she went back to her home country.  She just broke up with me over email and she is dating someone from her home city for the last month.  I thought we were very happy and serious and our best things were chemistry and ... Read more

Comforting the Little Orphan Girl

By

When life hands me a very difficult time, and I feel defeated and overwhelmed, I enter a hopeless and helpless state of mind I think of as The Little Orphan girl. This is the way I felt, as a teen, when I lost nearly my whole family, father, aunts and uncles, between the ages of 12 and 18. Needless to say, I was devastated; and I also survived and eventually, ... Read more

Dr. Romance on: 11 things people won't tell you about divorce

By

There's a lot of misinformation about divorce, and Dr. Romance would like to clear up some of the confusion. Here are 11 things people will not tell you about divorce. 1. Divorce will not make you happier, unless you’re leaving an abusive relationship. 2. Divorce sometimes seems easier than fixing your marriage, but it’s usually ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular