Dear Dr. Romance: What Should A Twentysomething Grad Student Do?

By

Dear Dr. Romance: What Should A Twentysomething Grad Student Do?
Why are you avoiding romance? This guy is just a way to hide out...

Dear Dr. Romance,

We are co-workers and I've know him for about two years. He's very nice, funny and in very good shape. We've built a pretty solid friendship. We hang out a couple times a month (when I'm home from school). But, lately he's been pushing for a relationship (seeing as how I'm graduating next year).

He's very supportive and protective of me. And I respect him for it. Honestly, I can see myself dating him, as a companion, but I'm not physically attracted to him. And, I know I'm not attracted to him because he wanted to kiss me and I actually cringed at the thought. And, I know he's still sexually active because he jokes a lot about it. He even went so far as to ask me when the last time I was intimate.

If we had a relationship it would be as companions, not as a lovers. But, is it actually worth dating him while depriving myself sexually?

Dear Reader,

If you're calling it dating, you're implying that sex is going to happen sometime soon. Given that you're cringing at the idea of kissing him, I think you should make it very clear that friendship is all you're offering, and not let him pay for any dates (no matter what you say, a man that age will assume you're dating if he pays.)

Better yet, stop thinking about him at all, and figure out why you're not dating someone else. You're in grad school, a great venue to find a suitable partner of a similar age. What's going on with you? Why are you avoiding romance? This old guy is just a way to hide out, and at your age, you shouldn't be hiding out.

"Guidelines for Successful Dating" and "The Fine Art of "Squirrel Hunting" will help you figure out how to date, and "How to Avoid Loving a Jerk" will show you how to stay safe. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again  will help you clear up baggage from previous experiences and get out there with confidence.

Best of luck to you. I wish you happiness! For low-cost counseling, find me at LoveForever.com

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

More dating advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

11 Signs Your Guy Is Marriage Material

By

Do men have biological clocks?  Yes, they do! A man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You'd think the positive signs in a date would be obvious, but with all the excitement, the most important clues can ... Read more

The Do's And Don'ts Of Improving Your Attitude

By

I have written in this column recently about emotional hygiene, which is doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent the transmitting of diseases. Did you know you can "wash" your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever ... Read more

Advice: Confronting A Rift With An Adult Child

By

Dear Dr. Romance, I read your newsletter How To Heal A Rift With An Adult Child with joy because of how you simplify things for us. I already tried by email, but the conflict got more complicated. I received two emails; the second one had a picture with the message, "See what you are missing?" This did hurt me; it was out of context, so I ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB