You and your wife need to have another "have it out" session, although I think it would work better just to say "I realize you're not happy, and I want to know what I can do about it." Read a couple of romance novels yourself, to see what she's looking for. I recommend couples counseling: use the "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" to find a good therapist. "Apology and Forgiveness" will show you how to take responsibility for your part in the problem. "Couples Can Cooperate for Success" contains guidelines you and your wife can use to solve your problems together and "Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom" contains suggestions for adding some excitement and passion back into your relationship.
Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences has the guidelines you need to begin to listen and accept each other as you are.
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