ProConnect

Dear Dr. Romance: My Parents Are Racists

By

Dear Dr. Romance: My Parents Are Racists
Are you and your partner developing a different culture than that of your parents? It won't be easy.

From what you tell me, this is a good relationship. It is very important that he treats you well and you work well together, even though your parents don't understand that. I recommend that you keep telling your parents that you love them, you don't want to dishonor them, but you must build your own life. Keep expressing your gratitude that they gave you what you need to live a happy, fulfilling life. Express your regret that you cannot make them happy. Keep building success in your life with your partner.

Eventually, they may come around to see that your path is working. In this case, you must be the bigger person, and love them even though they are not being loving right now. In my experience, most families eventually adjust to these differences. Your parents have had to accept many things in their lifetime that they did not want -- they will probably be able to accept this eventually. If they keep sending you money, keep saving it. You may be able to use it to help care for them in their old age.

More from YourTango: Dear Dr. Romance: I can now free myself and enjoy helping people

I wish there were an easy answer to this, but you and your partner are developing a different culture than that of your parents, and that is never the easy path. You are choosing your own happiness and success over the dictates of your family and culture. Your problem is the problem of the New Millennium, in which we are transcending the limits of race and culture. We must be careful to cherish the richness of the original cultures while overcoming their limits. I wish you the best of luck in your new life. "Mirrors and Teachers" and "Creating Family Acceptance" will help you understand them better, and react better. The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make Before 40 will give you a lot of information about building an independent life.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: What Should A Twentysomething Grad Student Do?

By

Dear Dr. Romance, We are co-workers and I've know him for about two years. He's very nice, funny and in very good shape. We've built a pretty solid friendship. We hang out a couple times a month (when I'm home from school). But, lately he's been pushing for a relationship (seeing as how I'm graduating next year). He's very ... Read more

Dr. Romance On The 9 Worst Marital Habits To Avoid

By

I sees many clients who are having marital problems because of the following bad habits. If you find yourself doing any of these things, consider changing your behavior or getting counseling. 1. You place social media above real communication. This can be a big problem, especially with younger couples. Feeling that you’ve discussed something because ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: I can now free myself and enjoy helping people

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I came across your web site when I was desperately looking for motivation. I'm a salesman selling first class products but I couldn't get motivated and it's been a problem for months. It's been getting worse. I read "Motivation and How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and now I'm sorted out. I ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

Should I stay or Should i go? 5 Ways To Make The Best Decision

Are you confused about staying or going in a relationship? Read on...

shame

How to Get Over Your Stinkin' Thinkin'

Recognize "Stinkin Thinkin" that leads to depression and turn it into positive action and success.

valentines-flowers-surprise

Why Breakups Hurt

Breakups hurt us even when there is no love lost.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS