Dear Dr. Romance: My father opposes my inter-racial relationship

By

Dear Dr. Romance: My father opposes my inter-racial relationship
Dr. Romance advises a reader on how to talk to her family about her inter-racial relationship.

Dear Dr. Romance:

My question of the week is how to deal with family opposition of my inter-racial relationship. My dad, who is in his 70s, is vehemently opposed to my relationship with my fiance (who is white). He hasn't even met him and given him a chance. It is quite frustrating given that our wedding is in a few months and I'm not even sure he will come. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Dear Reader:

Be patient with your Dad. Perhaps he's taking this personally; as if your choice of a non-black man is a slight to him. He loves you, he'll probably come around. Just keep calmly repeating, like broken record: "Dad, I love this man, and he loves me. We are happy. I love you, too, and I hope you can be happy for me. I'll be very sad on my wedding day if you're not there."

Don't push him, don't argue with him. You don't want to make it harder for him to give in. Just keep going with your wedding plans, involve your mother if she's willing, and make it possible for your dad to change his mind and come, even at the last minute. Have a plan B for if he's not there (someone else to give you away, etc.) Have faith, and trust that your Dad will get over his issue, when he sees his objections are not going to stop you. Many good wishes to you for your happiness. "Creating Family Acceptance"  will help you understand how to respond to  your family and "Getting to Yes" will help you improve your communication.

It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction explains how your family issues came about and what to do about them.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: I Would Like To Get Out Of This Anxiety

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a 70-year-old man who has been married more than 40 years.  I read your article "Autonomy and Dependency" I feel like I've been in a codependency relationship the last fifteen years and have developed anxiety & depression. My wife is a strong person and I'm a 'pleaser.' I've been on ... Read more

Live Outside The Box

By

I was speaking with a client today about how he is burn-out in his career. This is a man who's been very successful, earned a lot of money, and worked hard for a big, national corporation. I told him he was burned-out, and on strike, because he had put himself in a box about work. The box consisted of four walls: Wall #1: I have to make $$$$ amount ... Read more

What To Do When You (Literally) Can't Afford To Be Let Down Again

By

Dear Dr. Romance: My partner, with whom I have been in a relationship for the past year, has changed and let me down twice. We were first friends for several years, and became a couple a year ago. We both fell in love instantly and desired to live together to build a good future, financially, with family. We both have children from past relationships and ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.