Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mother, and I feel I'm past my pri

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Dear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mother, and I feel I'm past my pri
Dr. Romance answers the questions from a single mother.

He tells me that he cares about me and "has love" for me, and wouldn't drive all this way just to have sex, but that's how it feels. I made a comment to him last time he was here about not kissing or touching me much, and he made an effort, but it was temporary.
I don't know what we're doing here. I'm so confused. I know I care for him, I just don't know to what extent. I want to just talk it all out, but sometimes he gets very emotional and upset and I feel like I'm hurting him. Other times he acts like everything I say is stupid and he blocks it out. Frankly, I feel as if I am already past the prime of my life.
Dear Reader:
You're very young to have all this responsibility.  You probably made a good decision about your son's father. Some day, your son will have a lot of questions about him, and it's important that you tell your son the truth and then let him contact his father if he wants to. He will have to learn for himself that his dad is not reliable.
It's very good that you are cautious about bringing men around your son. He should not really know about your dating and sex life.  "Dating Guidelines for Single Parents" will help you keep him safe.
As to men, It does take a few months to find out a person's character. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be somewhat suspicious of your feelings, and use your head and  "You Be the Judge" will show you how to  do that. Going to school and working on yourself are very good goals. Stick to them.  Taking a break to clear your mind was a good idea.  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction will help you with the healing you still need to do.
Sex often grows better over time as you get to know each other and relax. Sex is a very small (although important) part of a relationship, and it's common for "the spark" to be gone  as soon as you feel comfortable.  That's OK, you can still enjoy sex, and being close to each other.  If you worry less about this relationship, and just enjoy it, it may grow into what you want. 
"Couples Can Cooperate for Success" will help both of you learn to work together to build a lasting relationship.  Discuss the points in  "Stupid Cupid"  to create functional  communication between you.  can be. Keep this relationship limited to just dating until you get to see what's really going on.  Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences will give you  a more balanced picture of what relationships are about.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
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Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
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Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
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