I Want A Man In My Life Who I Can Trust Again

By

I Want A Man In My Life Who I Can Trust Again
What is a Woman to do? I want a friendship, chemistry,and to build trust.

Dear Dr. Romance:

 

After experiencing alot of physical and emotional abuse in my life, my last relationship was very damaging emotionally and physically. Now, many years later, I haven't had a serious relationship or even a date since.  I've had two opportunities this year, but one wanted to be friends,the other is working on overcoming his addiction,and has been successful for several years. 

I used to be shy, but I'm  not anymore.  I am currently seeing a psychologist, a psychiatrist, and I have a therapist.  But at times I feel lonely.  I have family and a best friend, but I want a man in my life that I can trust again.

Whatever vibe I give off, men notice me,but won't approach me in public.  I was told twice by one ex boyfriend that I project Look but Don't touch.  Then someone else that I thought was a friend said the same thing.  I'm not into the bar scene anymore.  In my online dating experience,  the men I contact have unhealthy boundaries,  such as stating they love me after two emails and my pic.

What is a Woman to do? I want a friendship, chemistry,and to build trust, and see what develops from there.  I don't want to email alot, just one or two msgs, a phone call, then meet for coffee in a public place.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong?? I say I want and treat others with honesty, trust, respect and I am a caring, attractive, loving, kind person.I'm sooo confused.

Dear Reader:

Although I don't know what you look like, It would not be surprising if you did project a "don't touch me" feeling, after experiencing so much abuse.  Yes, there are a lot of people online who have unhealthy boundaries and don't really understand relationships.  What you want is not unreasonable, you just need to use the right method to get it.  You've had a lot of therapy and treatment, and you sound like you're ready.  I'm sure you've done fine work in therapy, but it may not be what you need to prepare for a relationship.

 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dr. Romance on Love Styles

By

Dr. Romance writes: There was a time when life seemed very hard, so hard I tried not to think about it.. Several times I helped to destroy some very viable relationships. Changing myself, my life and my loves has been very exciting and fulfilling, yet I am still growing. Love Styles is intended to help you reach your desired destination on your own journey ... Read more

Kindness and Happiness

By

Recently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I received—from my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support and encouragement to heal and take care of myself—made me feel blessed, despite ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: I guess we don't separate the "math" from the "

By

To view the video, click here. Dear Dr. Romance: I saw your video  about couples fighting over finances I am totally on board as I think what you share is phenomenal. The challenge is my approach I suppose as my wife Mel is almost NEVER on board. I guess we don't separate the "math" from the "emotion!" Trust me we're ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular