Dear Dr. Romance: I just miss her a lot

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I just miss her a lot
Seven years isnt' that big an age gap, no matter who's older.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I found your article about women dating younger men. So, here I'm in a middle of a crisis... hope you can read it and hope you can give some advise. I'm 30, with a promising carreer and a stable job.

A year ago, I met a woman, who's seven years older and has 3 kids. I've been dating her since then... we shared EVERYTHING, she used to be my best friend, my partner, my lover and the only one who can makes me breathless... Yes, im in love!!!

So, the last moth everything just finished, without a reason just told me she needed some time. And here I'm... hopeless. Sometimes I think she found someone else and doesn't dare to tell me. And I don't understand why... I used to be her support, emotional and financially.... just took care of everything, I mean everything.

I don't have to tell you how do I feel... I'm not in the mood to work, to spend time with my friends... just miss her a lot... A LOT!! Anyway, Im just looking for a professional opnion.

Dear Reader:

Seven years isnt' that big an age gap, no matter who's older.  Without talking to your girlfriend, I can't be positive, but I'm guessing she is feeling smothered. Is it possible that she thinks you're trying to control her by sharing all her time, and giving her so much?  If she's tried to talk to you about that, it may have been subtle, because she didn't want to hurt your feelings -- but if you didn't get it, then she probably felt she had no other option than to ask for 'space.'

Your best bet is to get on with your life, and give her more space than she's asking for.  Let her make the next several moves. When she contacts you, and she will -- don't go running back until the two of you have discussed how to repair the relationship, and you know what she wants and doesn't want from you.  You can't create a loving relationship all by yourself. The two of you have to be equally involved, and have equal say if you want the relationship to work.

"Stupid Cupid"  will give you guidelines for discussing the important points of relationships, and "Couples Can Cooperate For Success" will show you how to make a more equal relationship.  Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences will give you exercises and formats for discussions which will help you understand each other.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dr. Romance video: Do men have biological clocks?

By

Dr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To view the video, click here. Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him.  The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You’d think the positive signs in a date would be obvious, but with all the ... Read more

Attitude Adjustment

By

I have written in this column recently about emotional hygiene, and doing the necessary maintenance on feelings as well as your physical body and household. Health reminders tell us to wash our hands frequently to prevent transmittal of diseases. Did you know you can “wash” your mood, too, and give yourself an attitude adjustment whenever you want ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: On my death bed, I will not be in the mood to e

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I read your newsletter "How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child" with joy, how you simplify things for us. I already tried by email, but it got more complicated. I received two emails, the second one, had a picture with the message ''see what you are missing''. This did hurt me, it was out of context, so I ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB