Dear Dr. Romance: I Don't Want To Resent My Wife

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I Don't Want To Resent My Wife
A big task of marriage is learning to accept each other as you are and work together to bring out t

Dear Dr. Romance:

I read your article "Attitude Adjustment" and some of the things you said really resonated. In recent years, I have found myself developing more and more resentment toward my wife (who thinks very differently than I do). I want to dissolve this resentment. I have no interest in divorce, and I am smart enough to know that I can't change her. What I want to do is find a way to think differently so that the things she does, doesn't do, says, and doesn't say don't bother me so much.

 

Dear Reader:

Good for you for wanting to get past your resentment and create a working relationship with your wife. Resentment comes from expectations that are based on fantasy of what your relationship should be, rather than discovering realistic ways of bridging your gaps. A big task of marriage is learning to accept each other as you are and work together to bring out the best in each other.

Yes, you can change the way you think about and react to your wife. I recommend you begin with the following articles: "Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane?" gives you tools to understand your anger and change it into something more effective. "Attitude: From Negative to Gratitude"encourages you to transform your outlook and shows you how. "Learning Forgiveness" will help you let go of old resentment. With "Mirrors and Teachers" you can learn and grow from what irritates you, "Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract?" helps you negotiate the differences that are common between partners and "Stop Reacting and Start Relating" gives you steps for changing dysfunctional patterns you have developed between you.  Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences is full of exercises and guidelines for you to do singly and as a couple.

For free relationship tips and courses, LoveForever.com

More Advice on Relationships from YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

6 Signs That Your Relationship Is Sucking The Life Out Of You

By

The unspoken dating rule is that once you're bonded with someone, you don't want to let go, even if things aren't going great. Since most of us like to avoid our feelings, we don't want to do the grieving that's necessary to let go. But when you've had a loss, there are a certain number of tears you must cry to let go ... Read more

Facing A Bad Breakup? Learn How To Forgive And Forget The Drama

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thanks for sharing the great article  "A Good Cry" !!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have a question about it: " ... If you're trying to help someone cope with a loss, don't try to make the bereaved person feel better. It just shuts down their grief and makes them feel that their feelings are unwanted. Listen if you ... Read more

Letting Go Takes Love

By

Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular