What To Do When You've Lost A Friend

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What To Do When You've Lost A Friend
Unfortunately, you may need to move on.

Dear Dr. Romance,

Nine months ago, I met a girl on Facebook. My words about many subjects attracted her, so she added me as a friend, and I discovered that she is lesbian.  Before that, I didn't know there was lesbian world, but when we chat I got to know her very well, many walls fell, and I am only one who sees through this wall.  She fell in love with me and she joined the school because of me and her life change. 

I am still straight. She wanted marry me, but I rejected her. Then she told me that even though she loved girls before she met me, she didn't feel in love before, and she saif that I taught her what love means. She is grateful to me that she fell in love with her current girl and now she wants to marry her. 

She has totally changed toward me for the last 2 months. Many times I send her messages, but she doesn't answer. She told me that I am not changed. I am still a straight girl and she still want me, but I don't want her as my love, just friend. And she told me that I am trying change her into a straight girl. Now she found another friend rather than me and she told her everything. So what I can do to let her know I don't want lose her as friend?

Dear Reader,

I'm guessing from your letter that you are young, and perhaps English is a second language. It's not unusual for friendships to change when the friend falls in love with someone else. There's not much you can do, except let her know you want to be her friend. Ignore whether she's a lesbian or not. She knows you're not. She's occupied elsewhere right now, so it's a good time for you to take your mind off her. You can send this girl a friendly note once in a while, but don't push. That will just push her away.

It sounds as if you're very focused on this one friend, and that the friendship is only via Facebook. You need to get out and make more friends. If you're still in school, there are lots of clubs and groups you can join to begin to make friends. The more friends you have, the more options and choices you have, and the better your chances of getting your needs met. If one friend isn't available, someone else is. With plenty of friends around, you can make sure that you get your full measure of delight, support and companionship. "Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends" will help you figure out how to make friends in person, and show you it isn't as difficult as you think to get to know people. 

Spending quality time with friends is beneficial to your emotional, mental and physical health. "It Ends With You" will help you explore why you're not as comfortable with people in person as you are online.

For low-cost counseling, find me at LoveForever.com

This article was originally published at Dr. Romance Blog. Reprinted with permission.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

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Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
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Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
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