Dear Dr. Romance: I can't get my ex out of my head and heart

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I can't get my ex out of my head and heart
Dr. Romance helps a reader to decide if waiting for her ex is worthwhile.

Dear Dr. Romance:

 

 

Several years ago I met this man. it was instant attraction for both of us. we fell instantly for each other but he had a girlfriend.  I gave him the space he needed and we both agreed to just be friends. we tried it once when they broke up but it was difficult.  So I got a boyfriend and stayed with him for a year and a half. 

We eventually broke up and I still couldnt forget about the other man.  He broke up with the girl again and we tried to have a relationship.  Everything was good until she came back into his life. He said he cared about me but was so confused as she had been a part of his life for seven years.

 

I gave him a year to get her out of his life; but I couldnt control my jealousy and started dating again. Its been a year and just like i predicted she's out of his life for good.

However, I have now been dating an amazing man for three months. althoughI havent been able to get my ex out of my life. We're like best friends and have so much fun together.  I feel so guilty because my boyfriend is so good to me and yet I can't get my ex out of my head and my heart. i dont know what to do.

 

Dear Reader:

You're trying to insure that you get the perfect man, and so you're sitting on the fence, not willing to commit. Love doesn't work that way -- you have to commit, and then work together to create a satisfying, lasting partnership.

 

I'm guessing the newer man is a better bet, because he hasn't cheated on you or anyone else, but only you know for sure. Stop daydreaming about "the one who got away." Cut off contact with him, and commit to the relationship you have. You said he's "amazing" what more can you want? Read "Couples Can Cooperate for Success" to figure out how partnership works, and "You Be the Judge" and "Stupid Cupid" to find out which man is the good one. How to be a Couple and Still Be Free gives you what you need to build a successful relationship.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Stop My Husband's Ex-Wife from Smother

By

Dear Dr. Romance:  My husband has a son with his ex-wife.  He is 12, but she still invites him to sleep in her bed. How old is too old to be sleeping with Mom?  I know kids from divorced parents have different issues-- one being how a child should sleep, what manners to follow, at what time to do their chores, homework, etc. I think ... Read more

Creating Family Acceptance

By

Lately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. If your choice of a partner, lifestyle, religion or place to live has ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: His Clutter Drives Me Crazy!

By

Dear Dr. Romance I found you online when i googled "How to Live with a Slob". My husband and I are opposites in the area of how to keep a house -- i am very clean and he is, well, not at all. The clutter drives me crazy! It is just one more issue that impacts our relationship.  My husband has been getting better and better, slowly and in ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular