Dear Dr. Romance:
More from YourTango: A Good Cry
My husband left to be with a much younger women. The problem became obvious in our marriage 3 years ago. I thought It would be something we would surpass.
I was confused and did not act until one Friday night he did not come home to sleep. He came back that Saturday night and my kids were so happy to see him that I did not ask him to leave that night. Monday morning I finally got the courage and I confronted him and he told me that this girl was taking care of him like I used to do when we were dating. He said he was panning to leave and he was just making sure I could take care of things myself.
He came back twice and I thought he wanted to work things out but only stayed for a week each time. It has been 10 months since he last left. Somebody has left beheded doves, chickens, women's underwear (when he was still at home) and other spells on my yard. I know he is a grown man who is able to have a will of his own but all these things confuse me since I belive he is a good man at heart.
He is making a lot of money and has a position of power for the first time in his life. I feel I need to sort things out with somebody with experience like you that can help me accept our failure. Thanks for listening.
More from YourTango: 10 Reasons For Not Falling in Love
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I'm thinking that when your husband began making a lot of money, he became a lot more attractive to the kind of women he didn't think he could have, and he's childishly living out a fantasy. He is not thinking with his heart.
I don't know what to tell you about the spells in your yard-- it could be him or his girlfriend, or it could even be unrelated. Spells will not hurt you -- either clean them up and ignore them, or put a counter spell in your own yard if you believe in that.
Most marriages that split apart like this already have lost their caring connection, which allows the straying spouse to make excuses for his behavior. You need a lawyer -- do whatever it takes to get one, and your husband will probably have to bear the court costs. At least get a consultation -- you need to know the divorce laws in your state, and to know the right steps to take, or you can really damage yourself and your children financially.
You're upset and grieving right now, and angry, too. I completely understand that. But, in the midst of your grief, you have to be sure you take care of yourself and your children legally and financially. "3 Tips to Help You from Becoming a Victim of the Drama of Divorce" will help you think more clearly and avoid creating problems for yourself. The following tips may also help you.
Dr. Romance’s 3 tips for letting go of the pain of divorce