ProConnect

How Do I Get My Ex To Leave My House?

By

How Do I Get My Ex To Leave My House?
You can't just say he's doing it wrong; you have to act it out.

Dear Dr. Romance:

How do I make him understand? So my soon-to-be-ex is still in the house as well as myself! This is not working!  He keeps trying to make things better, but I don't feel anything for him anymore.  He has been better to me but is still very rude to our son and says hurtful things to him! He also says rude things about teammates on my sons ball team and doesn't think he is being rude and doesn't care if other people hear what he says! I can no longer deal with this! I'm tired of feeling bad about myself and I'm ready to have a life for me ! Now how do I make him understand it is over with out feeling bad when his tears start fallen? He says he don't want to lose me but we have had these problems for several years and he never changes and I just want to be happy and only worry about my sons and my feelings and work on being happy once again!

More from YourTango: Dear Dr. Romance: What Should A Twentysomething Grad Student Do?

More from YourTango: Dr. Romance On The 9 Worst Marital Habits To Avoid

 

Dear Reader:

This is what I wish more women understood about their men.  You can't just say he's doing it wrong, you have to act it out.  By the time most women are fed up enough to actually act on their frustration, it's too late for him to change.  Many men will change if you make it clear to them that bad behavior will not be tolerated. When you see the tears, tell him he must go to counseling, and go with him to the first session, to tell the therapist what the problems are (because he doesn't get it).  Do this even if you wouldn't take him back if he changed into the world's best husband.  Do it for your sons, and your future connections with this man. You will be connected to him for life through your children. If he's convinced you're divorcing him, he will be much more likely to get that he has a problem. Up til now, he thinks the problem is yours -- he probably thinks you're  a whiny bitch, and doesn't see his own behavior at all.  Hold his feet to the fire, and feel good about doing it. It's high time someone made him grow up. "Gentle Persistence" and "Asking for What You Want" will help you know how to get your point across. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find a good therapist. How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free has exercises and guidelines you can use to learn how to communicate even with an uncooperative partner.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

Dear Dr. Romance: What Should A Twentysomething Grad Student Do?

By

Dear Dr. Romance, We are co-workers and I've know him for about two years. He's very nice, funny and in very good shape. We've built a pretty solid friendship. We hang out a couple times a month (when I'm home from school). But, lately he's been pushing for a relationship (seeing as how I'm graduating next year). He's very ... Read more

Dr. Romance On The 9 Worst Marital Habits To Avoid

By

I sees many clients who are having marital problems because of the following bad habits. If you find yourself doing any of these things, consider changing your behavior or getting counseling. 1. You place social media above real communication. This can be a big problem, especially with younger couples. Feeling that you’ve discussed something because ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: I can now free myself and enjoy helping people

By

Dear Dr. Romance: I came across your web site when I was desperately looking for motivation. I'm a salesman selling first class products but I couldn't get motivated and it's been a problem for months. It's been getting worse. I read "Motivation and How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss)" and now I'm sorted out. I ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Brain

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

The emotional processing in the male and female brain is not the same....

The Secrets To Happiness Start With You

The Secrets To Happiness Start With You

Look within to center yourself and discover lasting joy.

Pigs

What is Romance?

By redefining your definition of romance your love life can improve.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS