Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

How Can I Find A Good Man To Love Me For Me?

How can I find a good man to love me for me?

Dear Dr. Romance:

 

I'm a single mom, of a teenage  son. I was never married to his dad (if you want to call him that). I have the hardest time finding a relationship cuz I am on SS income and I am judged by that. I am a loving person, the good guys want a woman that works or is very active. I'm not able to do either. So how can I find a good man to love me for me?

Dear Reader:

 

You need to focus on what you have to offer a partner. A relationship is not just about you getting taken care of and loved, but about taking care of and loving each other.  I'm guessing that you're the one who's most focused on your source of income.  Yes, it's harder when you have a child and don't work, because men are concerned about taking on the added responsibility if they don't think they're going to get much in return.

There are many things you can do to improve yourself and your situation. Do whatever you can to improve yourself. Read and learn, go to church, take classes that are free or low-cost at your local adult school. Look your best, and dress to appeal to the kind of man you're looking for; that is, don't dress too sexy if you want someone to like you for more than sex. Emphasize your positive qualities, and show what you have to offer.

 

If you can cook, let people know. If you are funny, interesting and a good companion, that's very attractive. Get involved in your church or community activities -- you'll meet people who can help you be your best. Make good, healthy friends, and that will lead you to a healthy relationship. "Where is Love?" and "Dating Guidelines for Single Parents" will help you get organized.  The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again has all the information you need about where to go to meet people, and how to get things started. 

 

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Explore YourTango